For much of my adolescence, I was an awkward girl with frizzy hair and, let’s just say, less-than-perfect skin. Fast forward to today, and it seems some things remain constant. I’m still not particularly well-endowed, and while acne has been replaced by laugh lines and wrinkles, my bewilderment about life persists. Often, life feels reminiscent of those high school years.
Recently, as I prepared for a conference, I confided in a coworker about my nerves. “I feel like an outsider among all these familiar faces, and I’m terrified of being that person who just stands against the wall at the high school dance.”
Those high school years were undeniably awkward. While middle school was a nightmare, high school brought its own share of angst and insecurities. I often found myself thinking, “I have no idea what I’m doing, everyone else seems to have it figured out, I’m not good enough, and my hair is a disaster.” The typical high school drama — cliques, labels, and social hierarchies — added to the confusion.
Eventually, high school ended, and I thought I had escaped that chaos. Yet here I am, now 38, questioning why life still feels so much like high school. The dynamics may have changed, but the drama continues. Back then, humblebrags were about prom dates; now they’re about how busy life is with my child’s sports commitments. The complaints have shifted from finding the right swimsuit to maternity clothes that fit properly.
In high school, the queen bees ruled the dances; today, they dominate the playgrounds. While we used to be consumed by our own social dilemmas, now we often find ourselves preoccupied with our children’s social lives.
It seems we never truly outgrow our teenage struggles. Perhaps the bullshit never really goes away; it merely evolves. However, there’s a significant distinction between the high school drama of yesteryear and the complexities of adult life.
When I began writing this piece, I thought the primary difference was that I no longer care about the trivialities. While I do care less than I did in my youth, the reality is that some of those same issues still affect me. I still wrestle with feelings of inadequacy, concern over being left out, and annoyance at the incessant humblebrags on social media. My feelings are still hurt when I discover that other moms have gathered without including me. I long for a sense of belonging, acceptance, and validation, even as I wish we could all move beyond labels and social groups.
The real difference lies in our honesty about our confusion. In high school, we pretended to have it all figured out while caring deeply about the trivial matters. Now, as adults, we are more willing to admit that we’re still navigating the complexities of life. We still desire connection and understanding, and while we may have grown indifferent to certain superficial issues, there are still many things we genuinely care about.
So, while life may never completely rid itself of that high school vibe, the one bright spot is our newfound courage to acknowledge that we’re all just trying to figure it out — together.
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In summary, life often feels like a continuation of high school, adorned with its own set of challenges and social dynamics. While we might care less about certain things, we still grapple with feelings of insecurity and the desire for acceptance. The key difference now is our willingness to admit we’re still figuring it out.