In my mind, I still feel like I’m in my mid-20s—maybe 27 at the oldest. So, as I urged my teenage daughters to snuggle a bit closer for a photo, it struck me that they are now closer to that youthful age than I am. While they’re still firmly in their teenage years, I must confront the reality that being over 40 means I’ve moved on from that chapter of my life.
That younger version of me didn’t drink coffee.
But this version? I finally caved and started drinking it just this year. Waking up far too early had begun to wear on my mood, and the lack of sleep was making me crankier than usual. I’m still a bit prickly, but thanks to a few cups of coffee, I can think more clearly and deliver my snark with a bit more finesse.
That younger self had a pristine home.
Seriously, everything was always in its place. However, having kids has cured me of that obsession. Now, I embrace a certain level of chaos. My home has transformed into a series of ongoing projects, like baskets of somewhat neatly folded laundry sitting next to piles of unmatched socks. Every few months, I bribe my kids with the promise of a binge-watching session if they help me sort through the socks while they watch. For a few glorious days, my socks match! The rest of the time, I sport a delightful array of colors and patterns.
That younger self was a makeup aficionado.
Makeup was practically an art form back then, with perfectly applied eyeliner and flawlessly defined lips. But after three children, my hormones have taken a more unpredictable turn. I’ve learned to avoid eye makeup, especially with all those emotional stories online that could lead to mascara mishaps. Plus, forgoing makeup saves me a solid 20 minutes each morning, allowing for extra sleep—a true win in my book.
That younger version of me had more male friendships.
I was always amazed at how easily I connected with my male friends—no drama! Yet, there was always the potential for misunderstanding. Now, I genuinely look forward to gatherings with my female friends. Any excuse for a night of sharing stories, sipping wine, and perhaps indulging in a little self-pity is welcome. And the best part? No makeup means no worries about how I appear when emotions run high.
While my teenagers have their whole lives ahead of them, they’re also on a journey of self-discovery, navigating friendships, and learning the importance of self-love. They will find that women can be allies rather than rivals—a good friend can be their lifeline in tough times.
Maybe being over 40 isn’t so daunting after all. I have coffee (often), matching socks (occasionally), my wonderful female friends, and the occasional glass of wine. Honestly, that sounds pretty good.
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Summary:
Life after 40 brings a mix of reflections and realizations. While I may not be the same person I was in my 20s, I’ve learned to appreciate the journey, the friendships, and even the chaos of parenthood. With a newfound acceptance of my reality, I embrace the joys of coffee, matching socks, and the support of my female friends—all while navigating the beautiful messiness of life.