As a parent, instilling honesty in your child ranks right up there with teaching them to walk, talk, and use the toilet. These are fundamental life skills, for sure, and nobody appreciates a liar—hence the saying about their pants catching fire. Yet, understanding the concept of hypocrisy is equally crucial. So, here’s a candid admission from your slightly hypocritical mother about four fibs I’ve told you over the years. I had my reasons, which you might come to appreciate someday. Here are four common lies parents tell… yes, even me:
- The cleaning crew must have thrown it out. Once a month, we welcome a fantastic duo into our home who work wonders in the kids’ rooms, transforming them into magazine-worthy spaces. They perfectly align the knick-knacks, tidy up the books, and even arrange the stuffed animals with care. These are not people who discard items carelessly. But I, your mother, do. Under the guise of the cleaning crew, I’ve discreetly cleared out things like those Mardi Gras beads you’re saving for next February, those books based on children’s sitcoms, old Halloween costume pieces, and stuffed animals that have seen better days. A cluttered room leads to a cluttered mind, as I always say, and I want to make sure you have room for your big ideas. You hardly notice their absence, but when you do? I conveniently blame the cleaning crew and suppress my guilt while you give them a suspicious look when they arrive. Then, I overpay them.
- Our car radio doesn’t pick up Radio Disney. The endless loop of ads and overly polished songs by Disney Channel “stars” is not something I wanted to endure. Experienced parents had warned me about the sugarcoated pop songs that would echo around the car, torturing their musical souls while their kids sang along joyfully. As someone who proudly wears a “What Would Joan Jett Do?” t-shirt, I wasn’t about to take that risk. Luckily, during the years you requested Radio Disney, you were still in the backseat, making the dashboard an inscrutable array of knobs and dials. I’d casually crank the air conditioning dial a few times and exclaim, “Huh! Isn’t that strange? We just don’t seem to get that station. Let’s enjoy Mom’s Crowded House CD instead!” The result? You’ve developed fantastic taste in music and chose to see Neil Finn at the Fillmore in San Francisco for your first concert—an occasion that brought tears of pride to my eyes.
- Dad must have eaten the last cookies. Kids, let’s do the math. Dad is an ectomorph who cycles 125 miles every week and spends nearly all day at the office. You see him leave and return home. Meanwhile, I’m a stay-at-home writer, willing to do anything to avoid the actual work of writing. Do you really think the chocolate chip cookies in the jar are safe when deadlines are looming? Think again. The apple slices I offered instead were a much better choice anyway.
- Those accessories really enhance my outfit. When you insisted that my little black dress and heels would look fabulous with the paperclip earrings you crafted, my great aunt Edna’s oversized cocktail ring, and Grandma Laura’s pop-apart pearl necklace, I never argued. I might have looked like I stepped out of a 1980s office comedy, but I wouldn’t dream of hurting your feelings by taking them off. In fact, I likely praised your fashion sense. However, if you had been watching closely, you might have seen me sneak a couple of pieces from my jewelry box into my purse. You’ve probably wondered why those beautiful accessories you picked out for me were still sitting between the front seats of the car. When I claimed I took them off after the party, the only lie was in the timing.
In this journey of parenting, we often navigate the murky waters of truth and deception, both for our children’s growth and our own sanity. For more insights on topics like fertility and home insemination, check out this excellent resource. And if you’re looking to boost your chances of conception, this post might provide some useful tips. For those interested in the broader implications of these discussions, here is an authoritative source that delves into related subjects.
Summary
This article humorously reveals some common fibs parents tell their children, exploring the reasons behind these little white lies. From blaming the cleaning crew for missing items to avoiding unwanted music, it captures the essence of parental hypocrisy while emphasizing the love and intentions behind these deceptions.