I tend to take a pretty relaxed approach to germs and cleanliness. My cleaning skills could be described as mediocre at best, and I definitely don’t adhere to an all-organic diet. In fact, just last week, I found a half-eaten candy bar in my car and indulged while waiting for my kid’s practice to finish. (I was really hungry!)
However, despite my nonchalant attitude toward dirt and germs, I completely lost it when I discovered lice crawling in my kids’ hair. Although I can handle the messiness of parenting, seeing those little critters was a whole different level of panic. Let’s be honest—lice are the spawn of the devil.
But don’t worry; you’ll survive this ordeal. It will be a challenging experience, but you will come out the other side.
My Frantic 24 Hours
Here’s how my frantic 24 hours unfolded after discovering those creepy pests: Upon seeing the lice, I nearly vomited. I rushed to the nearest pharmacy to grab multiple boxes of lice treatment and texted every parent I knew who had dealt with lice before, pleading for help.
There was a lot of swearing involved.
I called the closest Lice Treatment Center and begged for an immediate appointment. Unfortunately, the first available slot was the next morning, which left me panicking about an impending lice takeover of our home.
In a frenzy, I washed my children’s heads with lice shampoo, practically scrubbing until it hurt. I snapped at my partner and took a calming Xanax while mentally calculating how much wine I had left in the fridge.
As if possessed, I began tossing out anything that could potentially harbor lice—stuffed animals? Gone. Throw pillows? Not needed. Soon, our laundry room was piled high with coats and backpacks waiting to be sanitized.
The Treatment
The next day, we arrived early at the lice treatment center, ready to be rid of the devil’s spawn. If you have access to a lice clinic in your area, I highly recommend seeking their expertise; it’s worth every penny. After two and a half hours, we left the clinic lice-free, albeit with oil-slicked hair under unattractive hairnets.
After washing a mountain of laundry, I could finally breathe a sigh of relief.
Lessons Learned
Through this lice crisis, I learned a few essential truths. First, lice infestations are incredibly common; nearly everyone I know has had a run-in with them. Second, they are utterly disgusting little creatures that feed on human blood. Their saliva is what causes the dreaded itching—yuck! Third, the nits (the eggs) are the real villains; while killing the live bugs is relatively easy, the nits cling on for dear life. Fourth, nit-picking is a tedious task; hiring professionals to do it for you is worth every cent. The experts at the lice clinic were calming and effective, making the experience much more manageable.
Finally, rest assured that you will make it through this ordeal. Expect to experience at least one panic attack, several glasses of wine, and plenty of complaints to anyone willing to listen, not to mention the inevitable fear of bugs crawling on you. You’ll probably itch for days, and even the mere mention of “lice” will trigger an itch that feels like a Pavlovian response.
But yes, you will survive.
Additional Resources
And if you’re interested in learning more about home insemination options, check out our post on the At-Home Insemination Kit. For those navigating fertility-friendly lubricants, Understanding Fertility-Friendly Lubricants is an excellent resource. Additionally, for comprehensive information about treating infertility, visit ACOG’s FAQ on Treating Infertility.
Conclusion
In summary, while lice can be a terrifying experience for any parent, you’ll get through it. With the right help and a little patience, your family will be back to normal in no time.