Parenting is a shared responsibility, and it’s time we acknowledge that fathers are fully capable of it. Yes, if you’re a stay-at-home mom, it’s likely you spend more time with the kids, which means you know their quirks—like who dislikes peanut butter and jelly and who leaves crusts behind. But those details are just the nuances of parenting; the core of it is something your husband can handle on his own.
He can dress the kids, brush their teeth, and get everyone out the door. Remember that viral photo of a dad styling his daughter’s hair into a ponytail? Such moments are celebrated not because they’re rare but because they challenge societal stereotypes. Dads frequently manage their daughters’ hair routines—washing, brushing, and styling. This shouldn’t be a remarkable feat; it’s simply parenting.
Moreover, your husband is not limited to serving cereal for dinner. He can prepare sandwiches, scrambled eggs, pasta, and even vegetables. He can reheat meals you’ve made or follow a recipe to whip up something delicious. So, there’s no need to worry about your kids going hungry when he’s in charge. His cooking skills extend well beyond the grill, so next time you leave him with the kids, skip the PB&Js and trust him to handle mealtime.
And let’s clarify: when he’s watching the kids, he isn’t “babysitting.” That term suggests he’s an outsider when, in reality, he’s a parent fulfilling his role. It’s not a “Daddy Day” or a “Mommy’s Spa Day.” He’s simply taking care of his children, and using the term “babysitter” undermines his position within the family.
Fathers are also more than capable of handling traditionally feminine tasks while out with the kids, like grocery shopping. They can manage to buy the right groceries and keep the children safe without needing accolades for simply doing their job. It’s frustrating that when a dad pushes a shopping cart with kids in tow, he’s met with praise while moms doing the same receive no recognition.
It’s true that he may have a different approach than you do. For instance, he might mix up the kids’ clothes, putting the 2T on the younger child and the 3T on the toddler. Initially, I found myself frustrated by these mix-ups until I realized he doesn’t typically handle the laundry—that’s my role as a stay-at-home mom. Minor clothing mismatches aren’t worth a meltdown. After all, how could he know that the red Star Wars shirt belongs to the baby rather than the older sibling?
His discipline style might also differ from yours. He may be more tolerant of noise or mess, leading to a chaotic scene when you return home. While you might find this overwhelming, he likely doesn’t view it as a problem. If he doesn’t notice the clutter, it’s because he’s focused on spending quality time with the kids.
After a long day of parenting, he can help you tidy up the mess. He may not know where every toy belongs, but he’s still contributing. Instead of redoing everything he’s done, let him clean in his own way. After all, he’s taking part in the process, and it’s important that he feels competent in his role as a father.
Dads are not the bumbling fools often depicted on television. They possess real parenting skills and are just as invested in family life as moms are. So let’s stop portraying them as clueless and start recognizing their contributions. You deserve support, and he deserves respect as a capable parent.
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In summary, let’s shift the narrative around fathers in parenting. They are just as capable and involved, and it’s time we recognize their contributions instead of relegating them to the status of the incompetent fool.