I often find myself in the kitchen weighing my options: Should I pour a glass of Pinot or mix up a cocktail? Maybe a shot of tequila or a refreshing beer? Or perhaps stick with my favorite spiked seltzer, which is light and fruity—like a boozy LaCroix. Ultimately, I usually decide based on what I’m preparing for dinner. Once I’ve made my choice, I transition from the kitchen to the dining room, drink in hand, and take a moment to unwind. While I don’t indulge in this ritual every night—I’m not drinking to escape reality or to numb my feelings—I do appreciate the occasional adult beverage, and I refuse to feel guilty about it.
I can already hear the judgment echoing in the back of my mind. Perhaps you’re thinking, “How tacky! What a disgrace. This woman clearly has a drinking problem.” You might be gearing up to lecture me, or maybe you’re sipping your own wine and ready to hear me out. Before casting any stones because of my dinner drink, allow me to share a glimpse into my life.
As a busy mom and freelance writer, my days are hectic. I rise early to care for my youngest, a lively baby boy, and by 6 a.m., I’m already working while he watches his favorite show, “Trains and Tracks.” My mornings are a whirlwind of getting my seven-year-old ready for school—sometimes in-person, sometimes virtual—while juggling articles and emails. I even squeeze in workouts during my breaks, often running through the neighborhood while staying connected to my work through my phone.
Amidst the chaos, I find my only quiet moments in the kitchen while preparing dinner. It’s here that I can relax, listen to music, and enjoy a drink as I imagine myself on a sunny beach rather than trapped inside with kids needing my attention. This simple act of enjoying an occasional drink helps me unwind and regroup.
Is it a vice? Absolutely. Just like smoking or excessive caffeine, my drinking doesn’t offer any health benefits. However, societal views on drinking have become so polarized that it feels like you’re either completely sober or a heavy drinker. The reality is far more nuanced. Many women enjoy a glass of wine to unwind, and that shouldn’t be deemed problematic. An occasional drink doesn’t make someone a bad parent or person.
Let me clarify: Excessive drinking is a genuine issue. Alcoholism is a serious illness, and I’ve witnessed its effects firsthand through my partner, who is a recovering alcoholic. I fully respect those who choose not to drink, whether for personal, health, or religious reasons. All of those choices are completely valid. But it’s equally acceptable for parents to enjoy a drink without shame, regardless of what the internet might suggest.
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Summary
Moms should not be judged for enjoying an occasional drink. While excessive drinking is a serious issue, having a glass of wine or a cocktail in moderation can be a simple way for mothers to unwind after a hectic day. It’s important to acknowledge that enjoying adult beverages doesn’t equate to being a bad parent. There’s a middle ground that allows for both sobriety and enjoyment, and it’s time we embraced it.