By: Jenna Miller
Last week, I found myself retreating to my bedroom in the early afternoon. The day had spiraled into a whirlwind of complaints, disputes, and time-outs. The details don’t matter, as we’ve all shared similar experiences. Parenting, am I right? Let’s just say the day was the culmination of a grueling, exhausting week. So I escaped to my room and turned on some Arrested Development.
Our family has been navigating some significant growing pains—everyone is feeling it—and sometimes you just need to take a breather in your room.
This is what parenting is all about, isn’t it? Life isn’t always picturesque. It’s not always simple. And it certainly isn’t filled with hearts, glitter, and dancing unicorns.
Parenting involves sleepless nights that leave you with dark circles under your eyes, looking like you’re prepped for a two-week vacation abroad. It means messy hair piled into a bun and smudged mascara because you may have shed a few tears in the bathroom during the chaos. It’s navigating the unknown most of the time and second-guessing yourself the rest of the time. It’s tough choices and difficult conversations. And yes, it’s hiding away to sip coffee and watch Arrested Development.
Recently, I’ve noticed a trend where parents feel the need to accompany their #realtalk with a dose of #soblessed. But why? Why do we feel compelled to justify our emotions? Why can’t we express our authenticity without feeling the need to apologize? Why do we pretend that parenting—and life in general—is anything less than a beautifully chaotic mess?
As parents and as human beings, we are capable of experiencing more than one emotion simultaneously. It’s entirely possible to feel gratitude and frustration at the same time. We can adore our children so fiercely that it feels as though our hearts are bursting, while simultaneously feeling like we might lose our minds after asking them to pick up their socks for the umpteenth time. It’s normal to appreciate what we have but also feel a twinge of envy towards others. It’s possible to love the world and still crave solitude on a deserted island some days because, let’s face it, people can be absurd.
We are human. Life and parenting are intricate and often messy. We must stop apologizing for experiencing “negative” emotions, as if it negates our capacity to feel “positive” ones. I love my kids more than anything, yet sometimes they push me to my limits. I enjoy my work, but there are days when I feel like tossing my laptop out the window (usually after encountering an unkind comment online). I’m dedicated to the causes I support, but that doesn’t mean I don’t feel overwhelmed at times. I’m incredibly thankful for my loved ones and my life, but some days (and weeks) can feel like a complete disaster. That’s just part of being human.
Parenting may not always be glamorous, but it is undeniably beautiful. As I took a moment to enjoy my show (okay, it turned into an hour), I could hear my kids laughing together downstairs—followed, of course, by their usual squabbles. That’s the essence of sibling relationships and family life: laughter, arguments, and more laughter. Repeat as needed.
Time and again, I hear parents justifying their feelings of irritation or frustration with a “but I love my kids” or offering apologies for feeling anything outside of #soblessed. There’s no need for this. Life isn’t merely sunshine and rainbows, and we do ourselves a disservice by pretending it is. We all know you love your kids—that’s a given. We must stop feeling guilty for experiencing complex emotions.
No one ever said parenting or life would be straightforward, but it certainly is rewarding. So, when the going gets tough, take a breather in your room for a moment (or an hour) and then get back to it.
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In summary, parenting is a whirlwind of emotions—joy, frustration, love, and chaos all rolled into one. We must embrace the messy aspects of life without feeling guilty and recognize that it’s okay to feel overwhelmed while still cherishing our families.