“Is it here yet?” my 7-year-old son, Max, inquired yet again. He had been asking this question repeatedly over the last 48 hours as he eagerly awaited a crucial delivery — his beloved Blankie (yes, it’s Blankie with a capital B). Max accidentally left this worn, somewhat odoriferous fabric at his grandma’s over the weekend and has since asked about its location no less than 56 times. Bedtime is particularly challenging, as he struggles to drift off without it.
Both of my kids have their own Blankies, and I can count on one hand how many nights they’ve spent without them. My older son, Leo, clutched his Blankie every single night until he was nearly 10. Whenever Leo felt anxious, tired, or upset, he would turn to that old cloth, rubbing it on his nose while sucking his thumb. (Yes, you read that correctly; he was a thumb sucker until almost 10, and his orthodontist assured us it was perfectly fine.) With his Blankie on one side and his thumb in his mouth, Leo resembled a modern-day Linus.
While Max doesn’t suck his thumb, his attachment to his Blankie is just as strong, and honestly, I see no reason for him to part with it anytime soon. Some parents feel compelled to encourage their children to abandon their transitional objects like blankets and stuffed animals, often motivated by the desire to avoid the hassle of keeping track of these cherished items.
And let me tell you, it can be quite the hassle. We’ve made 40-minute detours to retrieve a forgotten Blankie, and I’ve asked what feels like a million times, “Do you have your Blankie?” before heading out, only to double-check repeatedly. I’ve spent hours searching for lost Blankies—in the fridge, under beds, outside, even in the trash. (Yes, in the trash.)
However, contrary to what many believe, these security objects aren’t “childish,” and kids who rely on them aren’t weak or insecure. On the contrary, studies have shown that comfort items can empower children, making them feel safer and more secure in new situations, like attending preschool or sleeping away from home. Research indicates that kids with Blankies, loveys, or similar items tend to be less shy and more focused than their peers without such comforts.
Anna Walters wrote on Dose, “Their lovey objects are like the first training wheels for telling themselves ‘you’re all right.’” With that built-in sense of security, children gain the confidence to take small risks, explore, and grow. These objects also help ease separation anxiety and foster connections outside of parental comfort zones.
Many parents feel the need to apologize for their child’s attachment to a security object, viewing it as socially unacceptable or inconvenient. Yet research suggests that one of the best decisions my partner and I made was to let our children hold onto their Blankies until they chose to let go. Colleen Goddard, an early childhood educator, noted in Psychology Today, “If the object thought to make one stronger is removed, it can actually create more anxiety.”
Security objects can even strengthen the bond between children and adults and promote connections among children themselves. The reality is that we all, including adults, have our own comfort items, whether or not we recognize them—be it our smartphones, wedding rings, or cherished family photos. According to therapist Mark Brenner, such objects can transport us to “a place and time of great solace and memory.” They help us feel grounded in a chaotic world; without them, we might feel lost or unsettled.
Experts also agree that security blankets serve as a bridge between familiar environments like home and new experiences like school, facilitating the development of a child’s sense of self — a crucial milestone that many of us continue to navigate as adults.
Eventually, Max’s Blankie arrived in the mail, restoring harmony in his world. I sometimes wondered if Leo might take his Blankie to college, but he naturally stopped using it just before turning 10. It now resides at the bottom of my nightstand drawer — where it shall remain for who knows how long. Although he may no longer need it, I still do.
And that’s perfectly okay.