Lessons Learned on the Journey of Writing a Book: The Hard Way

At home insemination

It seems like I receive more inquiries about the book writing process than anything else these days, so I thought it would be helpful to share what I’ve gained from my experiences. While I wouldn’t dare say I’m an expert on the publishing world, I do have a lot more insight than I did a few years back.

The entire journey of publishing a book is strangely reminiscent of becoming a parent. It’s filled with pain, exhaustion, and excitement, and once it’s all over, it feels like a blur. Just like the moment you cradle your newborn, holding your finished book makes all the hard work worthwhile. However, the path to that moment is anything but smooth, and anyone who tells you otherwise is misleading you.

Here’s what I wish I had known before diving in…

Crafting the Book Proposal

If you’re working on fiction, having a fully completed manuscript is crucial to land an agent or a publishing deal. That means you need to write the entire book before you can sell it, which can feel daunting. For non-fiction, a well-crafted proposal can suffice, especially if you have a blog that showcases your writing style.

For those like me who haven’t drafted an outline since high school, writing a proposal might seem overwhelming, but it can be straightforward. Here are some essential components:

1. What is the book about? Why are you writing it?
2. Who are you? This acts as your resume.
3. Identify your audience. Utilize tools like Google and Facebook Analytics to understand your readers’ demographics.
4. Your online presence: Include your blog, social media accounts, and any other platforms where people can find you.
5. Publications/Press: Mention any writing that has appeared in notable outlets or any accolades you’ve received.
6. Chapter Outline: Provide a detailed outline to ease your writing process later.
7. Sample Content: Write 4-5 chapters as polished as possible; they don’t have to be final versions, but they should be strong.
8. Visual Elements: If you have graphic design skills, use them to enhance your proposal. Include images of yourself and other relevant visuals.
9. Hyperlinks: Make it easy for readers to navigate to your blog and other sites.
10. Seek feedback: Have a few trusted individuals review your proposal to catch errors you might have missed.

Navigating the Publishing Industry

My books, Confessions of a Modern Mom and Motherhood Comes Naturally (and Other Misconceptions), were published through a major imprint. Once I had my proposal ready, my agent approached various publishers, and fortunately, one came through with an offer. While a bidding war would have been ideal, a single offer is all you need.

Many wonder if having an agent is essential, and I firmly believe it is. Unless you’re self-publishing, having someone knowledgeable on your side is invaluable, and the 15% commission they earn is well worth the investment.

The self-publishing route is gaining traction, particularly among bloggers with established audiences. While it offers the advantage of keeping all profits, it also lacks the support of a publishing house. Both traditional and self-published books can either succeed or fail; here’s what I learned about working with a major publisher:

1. Establish rapport with your editor. They will be your guide throughout the production process.
2. Your publisher expects you to promote your book. While they will assist, the bulk of the marketing falls on your shoulders. Unfortunately, social media followers don’t always translate to sales, which can be disheartening.
3. Stay authentic. If your publisher proposes something that doesn’t resonate with you, trust your instincts. Your comfort with your book matters more than the marketing strategy.
4. Remember, no one is as invested in your book as you. Be your own biggest advocate and take charge of your promotional efforts.

Writing the Book

Crafting a book is a vastly different undertaking than blogging. Many aspects of blogging—instant feedback, freedom to post at will—aren’t present in book writing. Saying that it’s a challenge is an understatement. Here are some tips:

1. Capture inspiration when it strikes. Sometimes, ideas flow in bursts; when they do, seize the moment.
2. If you’re in a creative slump, seek out inspiration. Explore parenting books and magazines to see what resonates with you and what you can improve upon.
3. Reflect on your blog. Your audience is less likely to pay for content they can access for free, so consider expanding on popular blog posts.
4. Always back up your work—losing chapters can be heartbreaking and can hinder your progress.

Marketing Your Book

If you go through a traditional publisher, you’ll likely collaborate with their marketing team. However, if you self-publish, the responsibility for promotion rests entirely on you. Regardless, it’s wise to supplement any marketing efforts from your publisher. Here are some ideas if you’re on a budget:

1. Create pre-order incentives. For example, I offered signed bookplates, which were inexpensive and well-received.
2. Provide a free sample. Offering the first couple of chapters can pique interest and drive sales.
3. Give copies away. Sharing your book with friends can generate buzz and reviews.
4. Participate in radio interviews. They’re convenient and can yield significant engagement.
5. Leverage your community. Your existing network can help amplify your message and spread the word.
6. Host a launch party! Celebrating your milestone can generate excitement and encourage word-of-mouth promotion.
7. Be mindful of your promotional efforts; too much can become bothersome to your audience.

Television Appearances

I was fortunate to have some local TV experience before transitioning to national appearances, which greatly aided my confidence. Here are some tips I picked up along the way:

1. Dress appropriately. This isn’t a casual outing; make sure your outfit is flattering and professional.
2. Choose comfort over style—don’t wear anything too tight that distracts you from focusing on the interview.
3. Practice how to sit. Your outfit may look good standing, but it’s essential to consider how it appears when seated.
4. Opt for heels if you’re sitting; it can elevate your appearance.
5. Accept professional help for hair and makeup if offered; it’s usually better than what you can do yourself.
6. Maintain eye contact with the interviewer, not the camera.
7. Avoid fidgeting, which can be distracting.
8. Stick to your key message and practice it ahead of time.
9. Sit up straight to project confidence.
10. Smile! A friendly demeanor is more approachable than a serious one.

In-Person Events

Unless you’re a well-known figure, traditional book tours are becoming less effective. I was initially skeptical of this, but my publisher’s insights turned out to be accurate. I love connecting with readers and believed that personal interactions would boost sales.

In summary, writing a book is a complex and multifaceted journey that requires dedication, creativity, and effective marketing. Embracing each step of the process while remaining true to yourself can lead to a fulfilling experience.