My Beloved Daughter,
One day, you may come across a computer and decide to search for me or yourself, and perhaps you’ll stumble upon this collection of insights I want to impart to you. I could write these down on paper and tuck them away in a box with your sibling’s childhood keepsakes—like those baby teeth or the little glass shard I had to remove from your brother’s leg—but let’s be honest, it would likely be forgotten or lost in the clutter.
I apologize for not being the conventional mother who meticulously creates baby books or journals. I hope that if you ever read this, you choose to embrace its message instead of thinking, “Oh no, my mother is so strange.” And please, refrain from posting revealing selfies online—that’s not a wise choice. Just… don’t.
Important Lessons for You:
- Embrace Your Femininity, but Know When to Be Bold: It’s essential to conduct yourself with grace, but some moments call for you to let loose. If you feel the need to express your emotions, do it fully. Once it’s done, tidy yourself up and move forward.
- Your True Beauty Lies Within: You are beautiful just as you are, but remember that your character and words define you more than your looks. Spend just enough time on your appearance to boost your confidence, and dedicate the rest to being the kind of person others cherish.
- Stay Authentic: I want you to feel secure in being your true self at all times. That authentic person is remarkable, so don’t hide her.
- Choose Your Friends Wisely: Other women may try to undermine you. Surround yourself with friends who uplift and support you—those who truly understand you. Build bonds with those who bring laughter and share tears with you when necessary. Good friends will help mitigate the sting of critics.
- Criticism is Inevitable: People will criticize you, but one day you’ll learn not to care. Until then, it might hurt.
- You Are Not Obligated to Anyone: If someone makes you uncomfortable, don’t hesitate to speak up. You deserve to feel safe.
- Surprise Them with Your Intelligence: You will face times when people underestimate you. Strive to astonish them with your intellect more than seeking validation from superficial beauty. Anyone can be attractive; only you can be yourself.
- Dating Will Be Challenging: Your father and brothers might make dating difficult, and I’m sorry for that. But remember, if a boy can impress them, he may be worth your time.
- Date Without Pressure: If you like someone, go ahead and date him. There’s no obligation to marry him, even if he asks.
- You Come from Strong Women: You have a legacy of resilient women in your family. I hope you honor that by being true to yourself, no matter the challenges you face. When unsure, refer back to lesson #3.
- Be Cautious with Intimacy: Please wait to engage in sexual activity until you feel ready for the responsibilities that come with it. Make sure you’re with a partner you trust to be the father of your future children. And for goodness’ sake, continue your education until you’re employable—this is vital.
- Explore Different Activities: Even if you’re not great at something, get involved. Eventually, you will discover what brings you joy and what you excel at.
- Make Changes if Necessary: If something in your life doesn’t suit you, don’t hesitate to change it.
- Invest in Yourself: Lastly, do yourself a favor and get a proper bra fitting. It’s worth the time and expense; proper undergarments can make a world of difference.
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Summary
This heartfelt letter outlines essential life lessons for my daughter, emphasizing authenticity, the importance of strong friendships, and the need for self-respect. It encourages her to embrace her individuality, navigate relationships wisely, and prioritize her education.