Every one of us experiences fatigue, whether we have children or not. Can’t we all just agree on that?
I recall feeling exhausted long before parenthood. It was tough! Then I welcomed my first child, and my tiredness escalated to a whole new level. I can’t quantify how much more drained I felt compared to my friends without kids, but there were definitely days when my fatigue was overwhelming. On top of that, I had the responsibility of keeping my tiny human alive while grappling with this intense exhaustion.
As time went on, the tiredness only multiplied. I recently had my second child, and the fatigue hasn’t let up—it’s a never-ending cycle. But I’ve learned that expressing this weariness, especially online, can lead to backlash. Fitness expert and mother, Lisa Adams, found this out the hard way when she shared what she thought was a light-hearted parenting meme about exhaustion. In today’s world of social media, nothing is ever truly harmless.
It didn’t matter that she was speaking from her own experience (come at me if you disagree!). What really mattered was that those without children felt offended by her post, as if they were somehow invalidated by a meme.
Some commenters responded with remarks like, “That’s your experience, but you obviously haven’t faced long-term illness, cared for sick relatives, worked grueling hours, or managed multiple jobs… or any of the many other reasons people feel tired!” Clearly, the meme overlooked the multitude of reasons one can be exhausted, but it was aimed at a specific audience—parents.
Lisa is a well-known fitness guru and a new mom, so she understands fatigue from a different perspective, yet some felt the need to critique her knowledge. One commenter wrote, “Hey, genius. Being tired is part of the human experience. Everyone gets exhausted, regardless of their parenting status. Maybe you should hit the books harder next time.”
No one claimed that the childfree don’t experience tiredness. I was once childfree and felt plenty fatigued myself. I’m sure there are countless professionals, students, and others who also face exhaustion—congratulations to everyone for winning the Tired Contest.
But let’s face it: there isn’t an actual Tired Contest! Fatigue isn’t something that can be quantified, and neither Lisa nor I can prove that we are more tired than anyone else. Honestly? Who cares! We’re all fatigued.
However, those of us with greater responsibilities may indeed feel a bit more exhaustion than those without. I can’t fully know your circumstances, and neither can Lisa, unless she has a personal connection with all 3 million of her Facebook followers. But I do know that parenting is a significant responsibility.
Once you have a child, sleep becomes a scarce commodity, and recovering that lost rest can feel impossible until they reach their teenage years. Parents have limited chances to catch up on those sleepless nights. Perhaps if you’re childfree and struggling with fatigue too, I don’t know your life, but getting upset over a humorous (subjective, I know) meme meant for fellow parents seems like a colossal waste of time and energy.
If you’re one of those individuals who felt compelled to vent online about this, like this one person who declared, “You may have been charming once, but now you’re just selfish. Why can’t people be tired if they don’t have kids? You chose to have children, yet all parents do is complain and drag everyone else down with them. We understand you’re exhausted, but so are those working full-time. Are they not allowed to feel tired? When did motherhood become synonymous with entitlement?”
Wow. If you’re ranting like that on a celebrity’s lighthearted post, you clearly have more energy than I do.
Boom! I win.
In summary, while we all feel tired in our own ways, the exhaustion that comes with parenthood is a unique challenge. There’s no value in comparing our fatigue; rather, we should acknowledge that everyone has their struggles. Parenting brings a distinctive layer of tiredness that can often feel overwhelming, and sharing that experience shouldn’t invite hostility but rather understanding.
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