It happened again. I completely lost my temper with my partner, Jake. It was a Sunday afternoon, and after a week filled with stress, sleepless nights, and illness, I was at my wit’s end. My partner decided to take the kids to their grandmother’s for a few hours, allowing me some much-needed peace to get some work done.
But then chaos ensued. My 4-year-old was about to step out into the cold without a jacket, and Jake was scrambling after him, completely forgetting the spelling list for my 9-year-old—something I had reminded him about multiple times. To top it off, the dishes I had asked Jake to tackle that morning were still cluttering the sink. I was feeling “hangry” after spending the last hour preparing snacks for everyone but myself.
In a fit of frustration, I dashed to the door, poked my head out, and yelled, “Get back here!” I started listing everything I felt he had messed up, shoving the jacket and spelling list into his arms while gesturing wildly toward the overflowing sink.
Jake, ever the calm one, looked me in the eyes and said, “Hey, it’s been a tough week for both of us. Take a deep breath and focus on your work. We’ll be back later.”
And he was right. This type of exchange doesn’t always end so amicably; sometimes, he snaps at me too. Despite our generally kind natures, we often let our frustrations spill over onto each other.
For some reason, when it comes to our relationship, the rules of courtesy seem to vanish. If I’m having a bad day and I see Jake’s socks on the floor instead of in the hamper, I might explode, even if he’s treated me well all day. Similarly, if he’s had a rough day at work and I’m distracted by my phone, he might lash out about how I never listen—an exaggeration, but one fueled by stress.
There’s a certain trust and safety that comes with being in a long-term relationship. Just like my kids sometimes release their pent-up feelings at home after behaving perfectly in public, I tend to take out my frustrations on Jake, knowing he can handle it. But while it’s a sign of love, it isn’t always healthy.
I recognize that it’s essential to communicate when something bothers me. It’s okay to express my frustration when he forgets to dress the kids appropriately for the weather or leaves his things lying around. However, expecting him to be perfect all the time is unrealistic. After 15 years of marriage, I’ve learned that the adage “You get what you get, and you don’t get upset” applies to relationships too. Accepting each other’s flaws is crucial for a lasting partnership.
So, even when life gets overwhelming, it’s important to take a step back, breathe, and resist the urge to shout. The emotional toll of our outbursts can accumulate over time, affecting the bond we share.
I know the struggle is real. With PMS on the horizon, I anticipate moments when I’ll feel overwhelmed and tempted to nitpick Jake for trivial things. But I’m committed to trying my best to hold my tongue, stockpile my favorite cookies, and enjoy them in peace rather than unleashing my frustrations on him.
In conclusion, navigating the complexities of a partnership means recognizing when our bad days threaten to spill over into our relationships. It’s about holding onto kindness and understanding, even when life gets challenging. For those interested in exploring more about these themes, check out this excellent resource on pregnancy and home insemination, or read our post about using a cryobaby home intracervical insemination syringe kit combo for a seamless experience.