Updated: May 14, 2020
Originally Published: Sep. 27, 2016
What should you do when your child expresses a desire to skip school without being physically ill? Should you grant them a mental health day?
During my high school years, I was the quintessential student—maintaining excellent grades in advanced classes, participating in various extracurricular activities, and enjoying a solid circle of friends. I was never one to cut class or create trouble for my parents or teachers.
Typically, I would walk the 1.5 miles to school, but one day in my sophomore year, I asked my mom for a ride. I had stayed up late studying for a test I felt unprepared for, and walking didn’t seem feasible. As we drove, the weight of anxiety and exhaustion built up inside me. My mom noticed my distress and asked if I was alright. I broke down and murmured, “I think I need a mental health day.” My mother’s immediate response was to turn the car around. She reassured me that I could make up the test and shared, “I sometimes need mental health days too.” In that moment, I felt a tremendous relief; the burden I carried began to lift.
This experience from my childhood has stayed with me. My mother’s understanding and validation conveyed that self-care is crucial, and it’s perfectly acceptable to take a step back when necessary. This simple act of prioritizing mental well-being was deeply affirming.
The Challenges of Childhood and Adolescence
Childhood and adolescence are challenging periods—often more so than we recognize. Young people are constantly growing and learning while navigating a landscape filled with adult expectations and peer pressures. Their days are packed with schoolwork, extracurricular activities, family responsibilities, and social dynamics, all while many face mental health issues such as anxiety, depression, or bullying. Given this context, the notion that children today are overly pampered seems misguided to me.
While some argue that kids are too sheltered, I believe allowing them the occasional mental health day is not a form of coddling. In a world where many struggle with burnout and unhealthy coping mechanisms, it’s essential to teach children the importance of self-care. Yes, children should learn the value of hard work and striving for excellence, but they also need guidance on listening to their emotional and physical needs, recognizing when to take a break. Just as adults benefit from personal and sick days, children should have that same opportunity, provided it’s not abused.
The Reality of Parenting
Of course, the reality is that many parents work outside the home and may find it challenging to take a day off for an emotionally distressed child. Although mental health is equally as important as physical health, society often fails to treat them the same. We must change this narrative.
It’s easy to underestimate the complexity of children’s lives, thinking their problems are trivial simply because they are young. However, if your child expresses the need for a day to recharge, take their request seriously. Teach them the importance of maintaining their mental health and equip them with the tools to face life’s challenges, including self-care strategies.
We all need mental health days occasionally. By teaching children to recognize when they need a break and giving them permission to take one, we provide them with a lifelong gift.
Additional Resources
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Summary
Children, like adults, face significant pressures and challenges that can affect their mental health. Allowing them to take occasional mental health days is not a sign of coddling but a necessary practice to teach self-care and emotional well-being. Parents should take their children’s needs seriously, providing space for them to recharge and develop healthy coping mechanisms.