By: Emily
Updated: March 30, 2017
Originally Published: March 30, 2017
On Christmas Eve last year, just past midnight, I was rushing around the house, making sure everything was ready for the big day ahead. After a frantic few hours, I emerged from the bathroom in my pajamas, ready to collapse into bed. As I glanced over at my husband, he nodded toward my side of the bed, where a beautifully wrapped gift from Victoria’s Secret awaited. My initial excitement quickly morphed into a look of confusion that I clearly didn’t hide well.
“No! It’s part of your Christmas gifts,” he quickly explained. “But I couldn’t give it to you in front of the kids! It’s not for tonight!”
I couldn’t help but burst into laughter at the whirlwind of emotions I had just experienced, and soon, my husband joined in. We laughed for what felt like five minutes straight.
When did this happen? When did he start buying me lingerie—on a raincheck basis?
I love preparing fun surprises for our daughters during holidays like Valentine’s Day, yet I often drop the ball when it comes to my husband. He typically receives a card I grabbed last minute, usually after he has already sent me flowers.
The truth is: My husband excels at being thoughtful, and I often take it for granted. Still, there are moments when I consciously remind myself how fortunate I am to have him and this wonderfully chaotic family we’ve built together. Yet, those moments can vanish in an instant, and to be completely honest, my husband often falls lower on the list of priorities when life gets hectic.
Seriously, when did that shift happen?
When I first relocated to be with my husband, before our daughters and all the accompanying chaos, my favorite part of the day was snuggling in bed to watch reruns of Family Guy. It might not be the most romantic activity, but after a long-distance relationship, it felt like a dream to share that every night. Even after years of living together, I would still feel a thrill at the thought of returning home to him.
I still feel excited when he comes home from work, and my love for him remains strong—thankfully, because he’s stuck with me for life. However, I sometimes wake up from the fog of motherhood and long for those cozy Family Guy nights. Who would’ve thought that a show like that could feel so sentimental? (And just so you know, I really dislike the word “romantic,” and it took a lot for me to write it out—twice.)
Just before our wedding, I had a mini freak-out, worrying that I didn’t want to become too comfortable and turn into just another married couple. Before having our first child, I remember crying as my husband comforted me, fearing that parenthood would change our dynamic.
What I failed to grasp then is that change is inevitable in a relationship as you grow together.
We may not get much time alone anymore, but he still playfully taps my backside as I rush by to grab more milk for our daughter—every single time. We might not jump into bed like teenagers anymore, but we doze off with the news playing in the background. While spontaneous trips have become a rarity, we’ve learned the value of planning and cherishing those moments when they do happen.
So, no, we don’t remain the same couple. Instead, we evolve together, navigating new adventures time and time again, if we’re fortunate enough.
Last week, I sent my husband a message saying, “We need a date night soon. We’re starting to drift into the friend zone.” His response made me chuckle: “Well, Google does label you as ‘FRIEND’ next to your chat photo.”
Just as I was about to reply, he quickly added, “I just updated it. Now it says ‘My Beautiful Wife I Love.’”
Reading that sent butterflies fluttering in my stomach.
And you know what? That beats Family Guy reruns any day.
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In summary, while kids may push you out of your comfort zone, this can ultimately strengthen your relationship. Embracing change rather than resisting it allows you to grow together as a couple, which can lead to deeper connections and lasting love.