Warning: Minor spoilers ahead if you haven’t watched Netflix’s Dead to Me yet. But seriously, if you haven’t seen it, what are you waiting for? Get to Netflix right now and binge-watch this amazing series. We’ll be here when you’re done.
Every aspect of the show is truly outstanding, but the writing and performances are particularly exceptional. Christina Applegate and Linda Cardellini star as Jen Harding and Judy Hale, an unlikely duo brought together by a mix of tragedy and poor choices made by well-meaning people. Free-spirited Judy becomes friends with cynical Jen at a grief support group after the shocking hit-and-run that takes her husband’s life, leading to a whirlwind of chaos. With Liz Feldman’s brilliant script and the spot-on performances from Applegate and Cardellini, I often find myself pausing just to let out a scream or dance around without missing any of the dialogue.
What resonates with me the most in Dead to Me is Jen Harding’s unapologetic anger. She copes by blasting death metal and is perpetually either muttering insults to herself or shouting them out loud, completely disregarding who might overhear. She allows herself to grieve in private moments—ugly crying in her car, on the toilet, or curled up with a pillow—but never in front of her children. Her razor-sharp sarcasm is unmatched. No one can drop a well-placed “fuck” quite like Jen. She’s had it up to here with people’s nonsense and expresses it in ways that many of us can only dream of doing. At one dramatic point, she even bludgeons someone to death over his sexist remarks. Isn’t this a fantasy many women have entertained? Jen’s raw, unfiltered fury is the reason so many viewers have fallen for her and the show.
While Dead to Me explores themes of friendship and flawed humanity, Jen’s rage is the real backbone of the series. In fact, the entire narrative hinges on her fierce sarcasm. The first scene of the series introduces us to her irritating neighbor, Karen, who brings Jen a “Mexican lasagna” and makes the all-too-familiar, tone-deaf comment: “Jeff and I can’t imagine what you’re going through.” In response, Jen deadpans, “Well, it’s like if Jeff got hit by a car and died suddenly and violently… like that,” and slams the door in Karen’s face while she continues rambling about when Jen can return her casserole dish.
Jen speaks her mind without hesitation, often articulating what many of us wish we could say. In season two, when a cashier questions her need for eight bottles of wine, Jen snaps back, “I’m sorry, are you the wine sheriff? Because I am the dick police. And you have the right to remain fucking silent.”
She’s had enough of pointless social conventions. When she attends a city council meeting to advocate for a stop sign at the site of her husband’s death, she drops an F-bomb at the microphone. A council member tells her, “Miss, we really don’t need that kind of language.” Jen fires back, “Please don’t call me ‘Miss.’ That is annoying. I’m a full-grown fucking woman.” I can’t express how much I adore this character.
In season two, there’s a memorable moment when a man disrupts a heartfelt exchange between Jen and Judy to ask if Judy wants to dance. Jen unleashes her fury, telling him, “Do you see that we’re in the middle of something here? Does it look like my friend wants to fucking dance? Read the room, fucko!” Yes, she called him “fucko.” Jen Harding is my absolute hero.
Interestingly, the show portrays Jen’s rage as something she needs to control—suggesting it’s a result of her grief. Initially, we believe her anger is a reaction to her husband’s sudden death, but as the series progresses, we learn from her real estate partner that her rage existed long before the tragedy. Clients find her abrasive, leading her to lose her job, despite the fact that real estate typically requires a certain finesse that Jen clearly lacks.
Yet, I have nothing but admiration for her impatience with social niceties and hypocritical behavior. I envy her ability to express exactly what’s on her mind. Unlike many of us who replay awkward moments in the shower, kicking ourselves for not having the perfect comeback, Jen will eviscerate anyone who annoys her without a second thought. She embodies righteous anger, is entirely filterless, and I would definitely hire her as my realtor.
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In summary, Jen Harding from Dead to Me is a refreshing character who embodies the unfiltered rage that many of us feel but often suppress. Her sharp wit and unflinching honesty make her a relatable and inspiring figure in a world that often demands we conform to social niceties.