Back in the days before I became a parent (let’s say 2000-something B.C.—Before Children), I was quite invested in fashion. However, once my little ones arrived, I found myself constantly covered in everything from boogers to Nutella. I quickly became a human napkin, and my wardrobe took a nosedive into the realm of “Wow, She’s Clearly Given Up.” But no more! Now that my kids are older and less prone to explosive incidents, I’ve decided it’s time to reclaim my style. It’s officially “me time,” folks! I’m aiming for “Wow, She’s Actually Wearing Something Other Than Yoga Pants.”
To kick off this transformation, I thought I’d add a few trendy items to my sad little closet. One trend that caught my attention was the infamous cold shoulder. If you take a quick look online or in stores, you’ll see that spring and summer have a clear message: shoulders must be exposed!
Do you have shoulders? Fantastic! If not, I’m afraid fashion isn’t on your side. For the rest of you, let’s face it: your shoulders shouldn’t be warm. They need to be cold—hence the term “cold shoulder”! This trend of off-the-shoulder and shoulder-cutout tops is absolutely everywhere. It’s almost as if a decree was issued: “Thou shalt not cover thy shoulders!”
I couldn’t escape it. Friends flaunted it, celebrities donned it, and I felt an overwhelming urge to join the party. So, being the trend-chasing sheep that I am, I promptly purchased several off-the-shoulder pieces as soon as they went on sale. What’s not to adore? They have a romantic, flirty vibe, and my shoulders are one of the few areas of my body free from cellulite—at least for now. Plus, many of these tops feature flowy sleeves, which are a blessing for my upper arms. Yay for sleeves!
However, there are some drawbacks. Most of these tops require a strapless bra, and let me tell you, strapless bras and I are not friends. I’m well-endowed, and my bras generally resemble the sturdy straps of a BabyBjörn. The first time I wore an off-the-shoulder top, I ended up adjusting my regular bra just enough to hide the straps, resulting in a very unflattering situation by the end of the night.
Additionally, these tops have a knack for sliding up whenever you raise your arms—like during a celebratory wave at a family event or while reaching for the hidden snacks on a top shelf. So, not only do you risk exposing your jiggly bits, but you also run the risk of strangling yourself in the process. Congratulations, you’ve just committed fashion suicide, and your kids might uncover your snack stash in the process!
There’s also the style with shoulder cutouts, but let’s be honest—some of those tops look like a bird of prey tried to carry you off and ended up ripping your shirt. I could easily recreate the look by snipping my old tees. Instant cold shoulders!
I wonder if the cold-shoulder trend has run its course. Will we be embracing shoulder-less sweaters this fall when our shoulders would actually feel cold?
If you’re intrigued by the world of home insemination, check out our related blog post on the Cryobaby Home Intracervical Insemination Syringe Kit Combo. For more expert insights, visit Minimalist Baker, a great resource on this topic. If you’re looking into fertility and home insemination, this link offers excellent information.
In summary, while I’m trying to navigate the world of cold-shoulder tops, the challenges are real. From strapless bra struggles to the tops constantly sliding up, I’m left questioning the practicality of this trend.