When my son first pitched the idea of making slime, I thought it was an excellent plan. It was hands-on, scientific, and required simple ingredients—a perfect way to combat the ongoing battle against screen time. Little did I realize that by agreeing to this messy venture, I was inviting chaos into my home.
Whose genius idea was it to revive slime? That’s right, kids. This gooey trend is nothing new. I remember playing with slime when I was a child, and I’m now 42. Every generation seems to think they’ve invented sex, and now they believe they’ve reinvented slime, too.
I’m pointing fingers at the YouTube influencers. Collins Key, I’m looking at you. My son watched your endless slime experiments and was convinced it looked like a blast. So, as the supportive, education-focused mom, I gathered glue, borax, and food coloring and watched him revel in the wonders of chemistry.
Maybe those climate change skeptics have a point. Maybe science is a trickster leading us to ruin. Just kidding! I love science—I just can’t stand slime.
The problem lies in having a child who is inherently curious. No experiment ever truly concludes. There’s always another “What if?” to explore. What if we mix all the colors? What if I add glitter glue? What if I fling it up high and let it drop? What if I toss a big blob at the ceiling? What if I stick it on my head? What if I put it on the cat?
Y’all, my house was a slime disaster from top to bottom.
I found little brown slime remnants (the inevitable result of color mixing) scattered everywhere. They were on the couch, coffee table, under the dining table, and even on the bookshelves. I dread the day someone picks up our throw pillows and finds a brown slime blob resembling a booger. They’ll think we’re a family of nose-pickers—fantastic!
I’ve had to scrub slime and glitter off the piano, TV stand, window, and even my phone. It’s been smeared in the bathtub, on counters, in sinks, on hand towels, and even on doorknobs! (Seriously, when do kids learn to wash their hands properly?) I’ve discovered it in my son’s hair and mine.
But wait, there’s more! We embarked on a “putty” adventure alongside the slime. While it’s thicker and seemingly more manageable, it’s still troublesome. One day, my son misplaced his putty—not the container, which rested on the dining table, but the actual putty wad. It was unsettling to think of a blob of goo lurking somewhere in our home. I feared it would turn up in his bed, but after a thorough check, we found nothing.
Two days passed, and the putty remained lost. Finally, my daughter pointed out something unusual in the dining room. My son had wrapped the putty around a chair’s knob to see what would happen—then forgot about it.
What’s worse than finding out we had silver putty oozing down one of our dining chairs that we all walked past multiple times a day? Nobody noticed it for two whole days! Perhaps we were too distracted by the brown slime disasters.
After extracting the putty from my son’s hair (because yes, it eventually ended up there), I decided enough was enough. It was time to expel all forms of squishy chaos from our home. No more “science experiments” until every last slime glob is found and I can scrub that brown stain off the ceiling.
I banish you, wicked putty! We cast you out, evil slime! Be gone, spawn of mischief! Return to the depths of homemaking hell from whence you came. Amen and hallelujah.
For more on navigating parenting challenges, check out our guide on at-home insemination kits, which can also provide helpful insights into family planning. If you’re exploring options, you might find valuable information at ASRM and this resource on tubal factors.
Summary:
In a humorous recounting, Emily Thompson shares her chaotic experiences with her son’s slime and putty experiments, describing the mess they created throughout her home. After enduring days of sticky situations and hidden putty, she decides to rid her space of all things gooey, declaring a ban on such “science experiments.” The article combines parenting challenges with a touch of wit and offers links for further reading on related topics.