Before I became a parent, I loved having the radio or television on as background noise whenever I was home alone. Fast forward to now, with three children, and I would give anything for just a moment of peace.
Kids are inherently noisy, and after navigating over a decade of their various stages of volume, I’ve decided to stop fighting it. No more shushing unless we’re in a library or a place of worship, and no more desperate pleas of “Could you please keep it down?” It’s simply a futile effort.
For a bit of humor, let’s explore the many ways children break the sound barrier throughout their formative years:
The Newborn Wail
Remember that sweet little cry of a newborn? Fast forward a few weeks, and it evolves into a piercing wail that feels like a siren with no shut-off switch. You want to help them, but you also contemplate how to save your eardrums.
The Toddler Scream
Toddlers scream for a myriad of reasons—sheer joy over a kitten or pure rage over an incorrect sippy cup color. One of my kids would randomly unleash blood-curdling screams, seemingly just for the thrill of it.
The Yelling Whisper
Tell a child to whisper, and they respond by practically shouting, albeit with a breathy tone that usually comes right into your ear, often sharing something embarrassing, blissfully unaware that everyone around them can still hear.
The Volume of the Third Child
Every third child I’ve encountered speaks at an ear-splitting volume. While some second and first children might also be loud, nothing compares to the decibel level of those third kids. They quickly learn that to be heard above their siblings, they must shout.
Kids in a Car
The acoustics in a vehicle don’t help, but seriously—why can’t kids just sit quietly and gaze out the window? What’s so hard about that? They demand the music be cranked up because they can’t hear it over their own racket.
Children Playing Together
When a group of kids gathers, they all seem to try to outdo each other in volume, leading to a cacophony of shouting, even when they’re just a few feet apart.
My Child Two Feet Away
Why do kids yell at you when you’re sitting right next to them? I’m close enough that a whisper would suffice, yet here we are, with them practically shouting.
The Mom-Calling Yell
“Mom! Mom! MOOOM!” Someone had better be seriously injured for this kind of volume. If you’re just lounging on the couch calling my name repeatedly, we’re going to talk—loudly.
The Joyful Cackle
This one’s a mixed bag. I can’t help but love hearing my kids laugh with wild abandon. Unfortunately, it usually happens in the car, because that’s just how life works. But honestly, how can you get mad at laughter, even if it feels like a sonic assault on your eardrums?
Ultimately, children are loud, and I’ve realized that trying to quiet them is a losing battle. One day, our home will be filled with silence, and I know I’ll miss the noise. At least that’s what I keep telling myself to preserve my sanity.
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In summary, children are noisy, and trying to hush them is exhausting. Embrace the chaos while it lasts—someday, silence will reign, and we’ll likely find ourselves longing for the joyful racket.