I have a little secret to share—I keep a hidden stash of ice cream just for myself. It’s true; I’ve shed a few tears when my partner polished off the last scoop of chocolate brownie ice cream, and I can’t help but worry it might put a strain on our relationship. So, I decided to buy my own, tucked it away at the back of the freezer, and treat myself once the kids are tucked in for the night. Don’t get me wrong; I let the little ones enjoy their ice cream too, but I’m not about to deal with a laundry disaster every time they indulge in dessert. They get vanilla ice cream until they can demonstrate they can enjoy an ice cream cone without covering themselves in it.
Sure, I sometimes feel a twinge of guilt for sneaking ice cream away from my kids, but the difference between that guilt and the shame I used to feel while devouring a half-gallon of my roommate’s Häagen-Dazs is night and day. For years, I was caught in an endless cycle of bingeing and restricting from the age of 15, and it took over a decade to realize what was happening. I often reflect on the wisdom of the non-diet dietitians I admire, who emphasize that food should never come with guilt unless it was stolen. Think about it—if you feel bad for exceeding your “points” or for deviating from your keto or paleo plan, it’s time to take a step back and reassess your relationship with food.
The Reality of Dieting
Here’s the reality—diets aren’t effective. When you deny yourself the foods you genuinely crave, it only intensifies your desire for them. You’re not the problem; the diet is.
You might call it a lifestyle change, but if you’re imposing rules on yourself regarding food, then, my friend, it’s still a diet. If these rules leave you feeling like a failure for having a cookie after 8 p.m. or enjoying a sandwich made with real bread, it’s definitely a diet.
Finding a Healthier Approach
So how do you lose weight if diets don’t work? Actively chasing weight loss can actually harm your health. The psychological burden, along with the shame and self-doubt it brings, can be far more damaging than the extra pounds. Instead, focus on nourishing your body and moving in ways that feel good, regardless of your size. This is the best way to honor your body’s needs.
If you find yourself battling binge eating and feeling out of control around food, I encourage you to seek support. The anti-diet movement is expanding, and there are professionals committed to helping you find peace with food. If you haven’t checked out Health At Every Size, I strongly recommend it. It truly transformed my perspective.
Protecting Future Generations
Now that I have two little girls, I’m dedicated to protecting them from the societal pressures to conform to unrealistic body standards. I celebrate all body types and encourage them to focus on their unique qualities—compassion, humor, and yes, even their sass.
Research supports the importance of pursuing health over weight loss, which can help you reclaim your life from diet culture. So, who’s up for some ice cream? I’d happily share!
Summary
Embracing a guilt-free approach to food has transformed my life. After years of struggling with binge-restrict cycles, I’ve realized that diets don’t work and that it’s essential to honor our bodies and nourish them without shame. With the rise of the anti-diet movement, there’s support available for those seeking a healthier relationship with food. As a parent, I prioritize teaching my daughters to appreciate their bodies and celebrate their unique attributes, moving away from societal pressures.