Since Christmas, I haven’t touched a drop of alcohol. The last time before that was Halloween, and before that, the previous summer. As the time between my last drink stretches on, alcohol feels increasingly toxic to my system. I’ve made the decision to stop drinking altogether.
My friends who enjoy a glass of wine might be in disbelief. (Let’s not jump to conclusions about their habits.) During high school, I watched my peers embrace drinking at parties. I was the observer, witnessing the fleeting moments of fun turn into chaos—tears, fights, and unfortunate messes left behind by those who thought it was safe to host.
From my observations, drinking never appealed to me. I faced some ridicule for my choice. My peers questioned my presence at parties if I wasn’t drinking—did I think I was superior? Near the end of high school, curiosity and peer pressure nudged me onto the drinking bandwagon, and I indulged heavily in my early twenties, leading to my share of embarrassing moments.
I can recount wild tales filled with reckless behavior fueled by alcohol: daring escapades and questionable choices, all of which seemed thrilling at the time. Yet, I also faced the darker aspects of drinking, including relationships with alcoholic partners and the struggles of codependency. With a family history of alcoholism, I count myself fortunate to have escaped with minimal consequences. Eventually, I was able to step away from the party scene.
As I transitioned into adulthood, I distanced myself from old drinking buddies, naturally reducing my alcohol intake. This decline was further accelerated during my pregnancies and while nursing. For years, my drinking was limited to a couple of glasses of wine a week and perhaps a toast with neighbors after a long week of parenting.
About two years ago, I discovered a passion for writing. I found that I couldn’t focus or stay awake after a long day with my kids if I had been drinking. So, I swapped my evening wine for writing sessions. Over time, I lost my taste for alcohol and how it made me feel. I realized that I prefer to navigate life without impairment; I want to stay sharp and aware.
Being the type who often speaks without a filter, I’ve found that alcohol only amplifies my verbal missteps. I aim to avoid embarrassing myself, and sloshed conversations do not help in that regard. Just the thought of wine gives me a headache; I have no interest in spending my days recovering from self-inflicted hangovers.
Eliminating alcohol has positively impacted my mood, allowing me to feel balanced (except during PMS). I’ve learned that relaxation can come from putting my feet up without a drink in hand. Embracing my social awkwardness without the crutch of alcohol feels liberating.
While peer pressure still exists at thirty-five, it manifests in more subtle ways. At social gatherings, a drink in hand is often considered an essential accessory. When I politely decline offers, people are surprised. They sometimes misconstrue my sober choice as a judgment against their drinking.
The contrast between the peer pressure I faced as a teenager and now is striking. Back then, I yearned to blend in; today, I have no qualms about not conforming. I’m in a healthier space and free from toxic relationships influenced by alcohol.
The culture of “mommy needs her sippy cup” is rampant, often played for laughs. On the other hand, there are those who abstain for religious or health reasons, a choice we all respect. But where do I fit in? Is there anyone else out there who simply prefers a sober lifestyle among all the social drinking?
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In conclusion, choosing a sober lifestyle doesn’t exclude me from the mommy community; instead, it allows me to engage more authentically. It’s all about finding your own path and knowing that it’s perfectly okay to walk it without alcohol.