As winter rolls around, it seems that random strangers feel the need to weigh in on how adequately dressed your baby is. Whether it’s in the mall, at the grocery store, or even at the mechanic’s shop, it’s as if everyone suddenly becomes an expert in baby winter wear. Apparently, mothers are completely clueless about when to put a hat on their own child. I can practically feel my eyes rolling just thinking about it.
Rebecca Johnson, a writer at Slate, recently tackled this infuriating trend, and her insights are spot on. She points out that “concern-trolling about a child’s temperature is a favorite pastime for many, but it really peaks in the colder months.” This statement couldn’t be more accurate. While we often hear about the importance of sun protection for babies, the unsolicited advice about winter clothing is exponentially worse. Everyone seems eager to share their opinion on whether your baby is dressed warmly enough.
As Johnson notes, it’s not that mothers are heartless and trying to let their babies freeze; it’s just that infants have a knack for removing their hats and kicking off their socks. Any seasoned mom knows when to pick her battles. Unfortunately, not everyone understands how babies function and feel compelled to “help.”
In a relatable incident described by Johnson, a “well-meaning” bystander at an airport baggage claim chastised her for her baby’s bare feet, exclaiming, “PUT SOME SHOES ON HER!” It’s amusing how this stranger even misgendered the baby. This type of experience is all too common for mothers, who often face this unnecessary scrutiny while fathers typically escape such criticism. It’s baffling that someone who doesn’t know your child thinks they can offer better parenting advice. It assumes they understand both your child and your parenting choices, which is a lot to assume. While they may believe they’re being helpful, in reality, they’re often just being irritating and should mind their own business.
Moreover, these concerned onlookers are frequently incorrect in their assumptions about a baby feeling cold. Pediatrician Dr. Lisa Green explains that while infants do need hats when temperatures drop to a certain point, they certainly don’t require one at 70 degrees. She clarifies that babies typically need to wear hats “around the same time adults start wearing light jackets.” Conventional wisdom also suggests that babies don’t need to be bundled up much more than adults. So if you aren’t wearing a snowsuit, chances are your baby doesn’t need one either.
Dr. Green further acknowledges that parents have a good sense of their child’s temperature needs. For instance, my little one used to sweat in his infant seat when wearing a long-sleeve onesie in mild weather. Even now at six years old, he tends to run warm and doesn’t always need the same layers as other children. A passing stranger might think I’m negligent for not bundling him up, but I know he’d end up overheating, so I don’t force it.
Ultimately, most parents are doing their very best, and strangers should refrain from offering unsolicited advice. Such comments can erode a parent’s confidence in their abilities. If you see a baby wearing a bikini in a snowstorm, feel free to speak up. But otherwise, keep your “helpful” opinions to yourself, as they rarely contribute anything positive.
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In summary, the winter season often brings out the self-appointed advisors who feel the need to comment on how parents dress their babies. Most mothers are well aware of their child’s comfort and needs, and unsolicited advice does little to help and often undermines their confidence. So, let’s encourage kindness and understanding, especially during the chilly months ahead.