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It’s Okay to Lean on Friends Sometimes
by Jessica Lane
Updated: June 18, 2023
Originally Published: Dec. 4, 2021
This past year has been quite a challenge, if I’m being honest. My mental health has taken quite the toll, and let’s just say my self-image has taken a hit. A few extra pounds have led to a dip in my confidence, and that insecurity has spilled into various aspects of my life—my relationship, my job, and my social interactions. Honestly, it’s been a tough year.
Can I attribute some of this to current events? Perhaps. Regardless, it is what it is. I’m eagerly anticipating a fresh start come New Year’s Day, when I plan to finally get my life back on track. I envision a perfect relationship, a consistently upbeat mood, and excelling at work. But before I dive into resolutions, I can’t just disregard the last twelve months. Even if they’ve been rough, I’ve gleaned valuable lessons from every difficult phase.
You might have heard the saying, “every cloud has a silver lining.” I’ve always found comfort in that phrase, as it reminds me that I can derive purpose from my pain. Although I’m not completely free from my struggles yet, I can confidently say that I’ve discovered at least one silver lining amidst the chaos of the past year.
What I’ve learned is that it’s perfectly acceptable to lean on my friends when I need support. This journey has shown me how to accept love and friendship in my vulnerable moments.
Embracing Vulnerability
Let me elaborate. I’ve always seen myself as a strong person—the one who fills others’ cups. I took pride in being the optimist and emotional pillar for those around me. There’s something fulfilling about being there for someone in their time of need. It feels good to give, right?
However, that mindset can sometimes lead to an imbalance. It can be uncomfortable to take support when you’re feeling needy. It feels demeaning, and we often feel guilty for requiring help. But how can we pour into others when our own cup is empty? How can we nurture those around us if we ourselves feel depleted?
The truth is, friendship is a mutual exchange. It can be incredibly challenging to admit, “Hey, I’m struggling and could use some support.” This year, I’ve embraced the notion that it’s okay to be that needy friend. In acknowledging my vulnerabilities, I’ve discovered that my friendships have only deepened. True friends don’t expect you to be invincible all the time; they love you for who you are—flaws and all. They cherish the chance to support you in tough times, and if they don’t, are they really the friends you want in your life?
Seasons of Support
Here’s a little secret: being needy is not a permanent state. Life is a mix of ups and downs. We all go through phases where we require more from our friends, just as we’ll have moments when we’re able to give abundantly.
There will come a time when you won’t feel like a mere stump anymore. You’ll feel like a flourishing tree, ready to offer shade to a friend in need. We all have seasons of taking and giving; it’s perfectly okay to lean on your friends when necessary. If you’re apprehensive, don’t hesitate to communicate your needs. Allow your friends the opportunity to be there for you, and trust that the time will come when you can reciprocate.
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In summary, it’s essential to recognize that needing support from friends is totally okay. Embracing vulnerability can strengthen your connections and remind us all that we’re in this together.