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A Dad’s Take on Man Colds: It’s Not Our Fault You Enjoy Caring for Us
Recently, I stirred up a bit of a debate on social media. I shared a lighthearted remark—my usual contribution to Facebook and, frankly, much of my life—about how my wife tends to our son when he’s feeling a bit unwell, contrasting it with her reaction when I get sick. Instead of nurturing, she transforms into a fierce critic, reminding me of my “whiny” tendencies and insisting I should “man up.”
Some women who came across my post took offense, but I maintain my stance: Women are more inclined to care for their sick children than for their adult partners, often unaware that this might be a problem.
I genuinely appreciate how my wife looks after our son. The love she shows him is heartwarming, and sometimes I wonder if there’s enough love left for the rest of us. Although he’s in that challenging phase where our patience is tested daily, he still receives a free pass. A minor cough from him can trigger mom’s nurturing instincts, instantly transforming chaos into cozy cuddles and soup. I’m not criticizing this; my own mother did the same for me, just like she did last week during Thanksgiving. That protective maternal instinct is one of the great benefits of having a woman in your life. My wife’s affection for our son reminds me of my mother, but I’ll stop myself there before I dig a deeper hole.
The issue arises from my upbringing with a wonderful mom, which naturally led me to seek a partner with similar nurturing traits. But here’s the truth: if we’re coddled as children, it’s unreasonable to expect us to suddenly adapt to a life devoid of that care as adults.
Just because biology may have predisposed women to be more nurturing (or so I’ve heard from those who know) doesn’t mean it’s our fault that we enjoy being cared for. You set the standard as mothers and then expect us to go cold turkey when we grow up? Not a chance!
And while I can’t explain why women seem tougher when they’re under the weather—there’s a theory about “Man Flu” floating around—perhaps it’s because mothers have a different dynamic with their daughters compared to their sons. I mean, remember what happened to Mischa Barton in The Sixth Sense? Just a joke, but as I always say, humor is key.
Sure, we men could probably tone down the whining and show we’re capable of self-care, but sometimes a guy just longs to be pampered—tucked in with a bowl of soup and a little cuddling. Maybe I’ve said too much!
This article was originally published on Jan. 16, 2016.
Summary:
In a humorous exploration of gender dynamics in caregiving, Tom Harrison discusses how societal norms influence the way women nurture their sick children compared to their adult partners. He reflects on the differences in maternal instincts and the expectations placed on men as they transition into adulthood. Harrison highlights the affection mothers show to sons, contrasting it with the often harsher treatment received by husbands when they fall ill. Ultimately, he argues for understanding and compassion, advocating that men, like children, appreciate care and nurturing.