Navigating Autism
“Just like no two snowflakes are identical and everyone has distinct fingerprints, autism varies from person to person,” I explain to my 12-year-old son, Max. As he matures, he’s becoming increasingly aware of other children with the same diagnosis.
“Mom, there’s this kid in tutoring who acts strange. He just gets up and rummages through the teachers’ stuff without asking.”
I acknowledge his observation with a nod, knowing what’s likely to come next. My focus remains on the road ahead.
“Does he have autism like me? Do I act weird too?”
“Everyone experiences autism differently. Remember when I told you it’s a spectrum? Think of it like a rainbow. Some are on one end looking for the pot of gold, while others are just starting to rise from the clouds. There are all sorts of travelers in between.”
He falls silent, gazing out the window, taking in my words.
“What about Jake from school? He’s hurt other kids, and he has autism. I never hurt anyone.”
“Yes, I know. His autism shows up as violent outbursts.”
I brace myself for the next question, trying to keep my responses straightforward and honest. He has a knack for cutting through the fluff, which I admire. The truth is his anchor.
“How do you know I have autism? If my autism is so different from the others, maybe I don’t have it.”
I tighten my grip on the steering wheel, ready for this crucial conversation. Max is sharp enough to expect nothing less than the truth. I long for the days when a vague answer could buy me time.
“Do you remember Dr. Garcia?” I ask, referencing the specialist who diagnosed him two years ago.
“Yeah.”
“Remember all those assessments and questions she worked through with you? That evaluation is specifically designed to identify autism. Based on your responses, along with her observations and the input from Dad and me, as well as your school, she confirmed that you are on the autism spectrum.”
As raindrops patter against the windshield, the quiet in the car is interrupted by the rhythmic swish of the wipers clearing the glass. The day has turned to night, and the glow of traffic lights illuminates the darkening sky. He remains silent, watching the rain cascade down as the wipers clear the view.
“How did I get autism?” he inquires.
“Well, you don’t catch it like a cold. You’re born with it,” I respond, relieved that he feels comfortable asking these questions instead of burying them deep inside.
“Why do I have autism when no one else in our family does?”
“Think about how every person is made of chromosomes, a mix of dominant and recessive genes. Like how Dad has dark hair and your sister has light hair. The way genes align can create unique traits in every person, even if they share the same parents. Just as you love history while your sister doesn’t—these differences make us all unique.”
He seems to accept my explanation.
As we navigate the intersection, the rain hits the car more forcefully. My heart aches for my son, who is striving to understand his place on the spectrum. It’s a moving target and incredibly challenging to explain to a 12-year-old boy who wants to comprehend the world around him.
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Summary
This article discusses the varied manifestations of autism, emphasizing that each individual’s experience is unique, much like a spectrum or rainbow. Through a heartfelt conversation between a mother and her son, the piece highlights the importance of understanding autism’s diversity and encourages open dialogue about the condition.