Today felt like an uphill battle, a whirlwind of self-doubt and exhaustion. Between battling a nasty cold, navigating the chaos of the election, and juggling a million thoughts racing through my mind, I yearned to just retreat under the covers and have someone else take charge for a while. But, as we all know, life doesn’t pause for a sick parent in need of a little care. Responsibilities keep accumulating, and the chaos continues.
Given the rough day I was having, it seemed like another typical evening where I might just lose my composure. I felt miserable, my partner was stuck at work late, and our babysitter canceled due to illness. As if that wasn’t enough, I had to drag my kids to a church meeting with nothing prepared for dinner. Everything felt overwhelmingly difficult, and I was convinced I was failing at this whole adulting thing.
Usually, when I’m under stress, I try to power through — keeping my chin up and pretending everything is fine. However, that often leads to me snapping in the kitchen while trying to prepare meals, or nagging my kids about their homework, or repeating myself for the umpteenth time about bedtime routines.
Tonight, I decided to take a different approach. I turned to my kids and said, “Listen, I really need your help. I’m not feeling well, and I know you don’t want to attend this meeting with me — trust me, I don’t want to drag you along either. But it’s the only option we have right now. I need you both to do your homework and to be nice to each other. Please, don’t embarrass me at this meeting. I’m really struggling here.”
To my surprise, whether it was because I allowed them to play on their tablets for a couple of hours during the meeting, treated them to milkshakes afterwards, or simply because they sensed my desperation, they stepped up. They didn’t bicker much (aside from the moment Teddy showcased his “artwork” of a rather questionable drawing on his arm), and they even helped once we got home.
From my bed, I could hear my oldest asking their dad where my bras went, and they even made me a sweet card. They folded laundry and put it away, and to my delight, they brushed their teeth and went to bed without a fuss!
I asked for help, and they delivered. Who would have thought?
The takeaway here is that we don’t have to wear the martyr’s cape — whether in parenting or life in general. It’s completely acceptable to ask for assistance and allow others to care for us. Taking a break doesn’t mean the world will fall apart. It’s perfectly fine to show our vulnerabilities and let our kids witness our struggles. It’s okay to admit when we can’t do it all — to say “no” or “enough.”
Sometimes, we need to blend family obligations with life’s demands, and it’s alright to prioritize our own well-being. It’s okay to retire to bed at an early hour or to let chores pile up a bit. It’s fine to say, “I’m uncertain about this, and I might be messing it all up.”
It’s alright to express feeling unwell. It’s okay to reach out for help. It’s completely okay.
Everything will be just fine.
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Summary:
It’s completely acceptable for parents to seek help from their children on challenging days. Embracing vulnerability and asking for support can create a more harmonious household. By doing so, parents can illustrate to their kids the importance of teamwork and understanding, ultimately fostering a supportive family environment.