On June 27, 2009, I experienced the most joyful day of my life. The sun was shining brilliantly, but the warmth in my heart surpassed that beautiful summer day. I was about to pledge my love to my best friend, my soulmate. Instead of opting for traditional wedding gifts, we decided that the most meaningful offering we could give each other was our words. We made a promise to write letters that would be delivered to us on the morning of our wedding.
As I read the heartfelt words penned by my soon-to-be husband, emotions overwhelmed me. His sincerity and authenticity touched me deeply, leaving me in tears. He expressed a love that felt immeasurable, a bond that promised a future together filled with shared dreams and companionship.
However, somewhere between our wedding day and welcoming our second child, we drifted apart. Life, with all its ups and downs, had taken its toll on us. We faced the loss of loved ones and the joy of raising two precious children, along with career changes, financial challenges, and everything else that life could throw our way. Despite saying “I love you” and sharing the same home, we found ourselves emotionally distant, living parallel lives rather than as a united couple.
The turning point came unexpectedly. One moment we were sharing a kiss as he left for work, and the next, discussions of divorce filled the air. How did we transition from being inseparable partners to feeling like two cogs in a machine, each focused solely on our individual duties?
My husband, a private individual, and I, a blogger, faced a harsh reality when we separated. After nearly a decade of being together, the shock of being apart was overwhelming. The absence of my best friend was palpable, and I found myself gasping for air amid a torrent of tears and unanswered questions.
During the nearly two weeks apart, our feelings evolved, ultimately guiding us back to where our love story began. Love is uncomplicated when life is easy, but once children enter the equation, the complexities increase. I have never believed that children are the cause of marital bliss or discord. Marriage requires ongoing effort. Prioritizing our relationship amidst the chaos of parenting and daily responsibilities is vital. If we lose sight of that, our best friends can seem like strangers.
We confronted our challenges head-on, realizing that living apart was not an option. We are stronger together, and the bond we share as best friends is irreplaceable. Nothing was insurmountable enough to justify our separation. So, how did I nearly lose my best friend, and what steps did I take to regain that connection, now stronger than ever?
Marriage Takes Three
On our wedding day, my late grandmother gifted us a plaque inscribed with the poem “Marriage Takes Three.” It emphasizes the importance of having God at the center of our relationship to navigate any storm. It’s ironic how couples often recite vows rooted in Biblical values only to neglect that foundational aspect later. God is our Creator and serves as the ultimate guide for nurturing a thriving marriage.
Our future shines brightly as we prioritize God in our lives and our home. We must never lose the passion and loyalty we share for one another.
Date Each Other Again
No excuses! If a babysitter isn’t an option, create a romantic atmosphere at home after the kids are asleep. Engage meaningfully with one another, seeing your partner with the same affection you had on your wedding day. Reading the words my husband wrote to me, I can confidently affirm that his feelings have not changed since that day.
Consider Your Life Partner as Your Best Friend
From the moment we met, my husband and I built our relationship on a foundation of friendship, which we lost sight of over time. A friend is someone who understands, trusts, and supports you. Yet, we sometimes adopt a defensive stance with our spouses, forgetting that we are on the same team. Your spouse is your confidant, and it’s crucial to share everything, even the tough stuff. Secrets can fracture the strongest bonds.
I am not presenting myself as an expert; I am simply a partner determined to keep my best friend close. Are my husband and I free from challenges? Absolutely not! Life will inevitably present new mountains to climb. But I believe we will tackle them together, and I wish the same for you and your partner.
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In summary, what I learned is that love requires nurturing, especially as life’s complexities grow. Prioritizing your partner, maintaining open communication, and keeping the friendship at the heart of your marriage can make all the difference in weathering life’s storms together.