Cleaning Can Be Fun
Is Getting My Kids to Do Chores Really That Easy?
It turns out that adding a playful twist truly works. By Jamie Harper
As I looked around my living room while washing the third round of dishes that day, I was struck by the scene: my four children were happily engaged in their own world, some on tablets and others rolling on the floor like serpents they had seen at the zoo. This didn’t match the vision I had when we decided to have four kids under seven. Instead of being a cohesive family unit, I had become the housekeeper. So, I grabbed a large poster board and a marker, determined to shift the dynamics. To my astonishment, the changes have continued to work months later.
With my background as a teacher and my partner’s role as a school administrator, we had a solid understanding of child motivation, but we hadn’t implemented that knowledge in a structured way. Thus, we decided to create a chore chart, but with a twist inspired by our experiences in the classroom. I used to scoff at the parents who showcased their kids joyfully doing chores on social media, but now I can say that it’s indeed possible. Here’s what we did, and why it worked.
Empower Kids in the Process
Sitting in front of that blank poster board, I wanted to create the chart myself, but I resisted. I’ve seen firsthand how children disengage when adults dictate processes. Instead, I explained how many dishes I had done that day (I exaggerated to 50, though it felt like triple that), shared the exhaustion that comes with parenting, and asked, “What can we do about this?” They eagerly jumped in to identify the chores that needed to be done.
Add Humor and Roleplay
The tasks they suggested were influenced by shows, songs, and books they loved. Like in school, we gave these chores fun names and defined their responsibilities. Soon enough, they designated a “butler” to set the table and serve, a “washy person” to handle the dishes, and a “sweeper” to pick up ten items and vacuum. Dr. Emily James, a child psychologist, explains that these methods work because they transform chores into engaging activities.
“Instead of saying Ben is cleaning up, you talk about the butler doing the job. This playful approach makes it feel less like a chore and more like a game,” she notes. Making it a race or playing upbeat music can also boost engagement. Additionally, she emphasizes the importance of providing clear expectations and teaching kids how to perform tasks step-by-step. It can be surprising to realize that your toddler might not even recognize a dishwasher!
Ditch the Expected Timeline
Enlisting the help of a 3, 5, and 7-year-old means that post-meal cleanup takes significantly longer. However, it also gives adults the opportunity to enjoy a second glass of wine, switch the laundry, prepare lunches, or even have a chat. Dr. James suggests that not rushing the process can involve introducing fun tools, like a character-themed sponge. This laid-back approach fosters imaginative play, enhances motivation, and strengthens sibling bonds.
Offer Choices, But Don’t Ask if They Want To
When we filled out our chore chart, the kids got to choose which responsibilities they wanted as long as the distribution was fairly even. They proudly scribbled their signatures in the boxes, making it clear they were taking ownership of their tasks. I was no longer the bad guy. Dr. James advises against asking children to do something; instead, kindly and firmly request it while presenting them with choices regarding how to accomplish the task.
“Kids crave a sense of control,” she explains. “This involvement leads to greater engagement and accountability.” Surprisingly, the chart also encouraged teamwork, changing the narrative from blame to collaboration. Rather than asking, “Mom, where’s my drink?” I now hear them consulting the board to see who the butler is, directing their requests accordingly.
In conclusion, Dr. James highlights the importance of recognizing and celebrating kids’ accomplishments. “Teach them to take pride in what they’ve achieved. When we step back and say, ‘Look what you’ve done!’ it instills a sense of pride.” The kids feel proud, and I’m significantly less exhausted.
Jamie Harper is a freelance writer based in Chicago, focusing on parenting, health, and lifestyle content. When not writing, she enjoys spending time with her four lively kids under the age of seven, who keep her life vibrant and full of fun. With over a decade of experience, Jamie has contributed to various publications, sharing relatable insights and expertise.
Curious for more tips? Check out our other blog posts, such as this one for additional insights.