Apologies, everyone, but this denim speedo is about to disrupt your summer fun.
If you’re a fan of jeans, we totally understand. They’re a timeless and fashionable staple that can elevate any outfit. But when the sweltering heat of summer hits, covering your legs can feel unbearable. Introducing the jeado—a bizarre solution that promises to make your summer a bit more nightmarish.
Yes, you guessed it: the jeado is precisely what it sounds like—a denim speedo. Perfect for when your jorts need to be even shorter, and let’s be honest, they really do.
Though this isn’t a trend anyone specifically asked for, many summer fads fall into that category. Remember when Ugg decided to roll out fuzzy sandals for the warmer months? Dust those off, because they’ll pair wonderfully with your new jeado.
What is the Jeado?
Currently available from the online retailer Shinesty, these aren’t made of real denim. Instead, they’re crafted from a more water-friendly blend of polyester and spandex, adorned with a denim print that looks surprisingly authentic. You can choose from classic blue jeans or a vintage-inspired blue or black “assid wash” (yes, that’s the actual name). The product description suggests that the target audience consists of those who truly don’t care what others think.
“They say jorts are the above-ground pool of the shorts world. We’d tend to agree,” it notes. “Our denim print swim brief, also known as the Jeado, or the Daytona Dong Sarong, is like the above-ground hot tub of swim briefs… or something to that effect. It’s akin to munching on chips in a place of worship. Everyone casts you disapproving glances, but deep down, they’re envious. For the truly adventurous, consider combining both scenarios—snacking on chips in church while flaunting this denim swimwear. You might get kicked out, but you’ll look and feel great while doing so. For best results, pair with caterpillar-style mustaches.”
We strongly advise against wearing these to church, chips or not. Embracing your body is important, but there are limits we must respect.
For the Ladies
And for the ladies feeling left out, rest assured! Shinesty also provides denim-print bikinis and one-pieces. While they may not be as visually arresting as the speedo, sometimes modesty takes precedence, and that’s perfectly fine.
More Insights
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Conclusion
In summary, while the jeado may not be the summer trend anyone wanted, it’s certainly here to make waves. Whether you embrace it or not, it’s clear that this denim speedo is set to stir up conversations all season long.