When we think of intimate partner violence, we often envision the most visible signs—bruises, broken bones, and the aftermath of physical abuse. However, the harsh reality is that intimate partner violence (IPV) often manifests in ways that are less apparent but equally damaging. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) defines IPV as encompassing physical violence, sexual violence, stalking, and psychological aggression by a current or former partner. Yet, society tends to focus predominantly on physical abuse, leaving many forms of IPV overlooked.
Statistics reveal a staggering truth: 1 in 4 women and nearly 1 in 10 men have encountered IPV at some point in their lives, according to the National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey. I identify as part of that statistic. I am a survivor.
For a long time, I struggled to embrace the term “survivor.” I questioned whether my experiences were severe enough to warrant such a label. Many victims find themselves asking similar questions: If he never physically harmed me, can I truly call it abuse? If she simply belittled me and hurled insults, was it really that bad? The truth is that no one deserves to be stalked, manipulated, or abused, regardless of the form it takes.
Silence breeds the continuation of intimate partner violence. I recall a specific moment from my own journey that highlights this. At the time, I didn’t recognize the full extent of my partner’s controlling behavior. His constant surveillance felt normal after years of being in a toxic relationship. The incessant phone calls and texts, always probing and demanding answers, became part of my daily existence. I didn’t see them as alarming; they were just what partners do, right?
Even during moments meant for relaxation—like dinner with his sister—my phone would buzz with messages, often questioning my whereabouts and intentions. It wasn’t until a particularly invasive message arrived while I was at work that the gravity of the situation dawned on me. I received a text accusing me of lying, accompanied by a photo of me on my break. I had unknowingly been followed by my husband, a realization that struck me with fear and confusion. What I initially dismissed as harmless jealousy was indicative of a more severe form of IPV.
Reflecting on these experiences is still challenging, even years later. I often wonder how I failed to recognize the signs sooner. IPV can affect anyone, regardless of their background or resources. The case of a high-profile individual like FKA Twigs, who spoke out against her abusive relationship, underscores that this issue knows no boundaries.
I share my story with the hope of reaching others who may be trapped in similar situations. It’s crucial to understand that you are not alone, and what you are experiencing is not acceptable. You deserve a life free from fear and manipulation.
If you find yourself in a similar situation, know that change is possible. It took me over a decade to break free, but I am a testament to resilience and recovery. You are worthy of happiness and love that is unconditional. For more insights on this topic, check out this blog post and resources from Intracervical Insemination, which offer valuable information on related issues. For those considering fertility options, Hopkins Medicine is an excellent resource.