While perusing a Facebook group for mothers with sons, I stumbled upon a post from a frustrated mom who argued that the Disney Channel dedicated too much airtime to commercials promoting girls’ empowerment, claiming this meant a neglect of boys. Many other moms chimed in, agreeing with her sentiment, and I found myself nearly breaking my fingers in a futile attempt to respond to such misguided thoughts. The essence of my reply highlighted that maleness is still seen as the standard for achievement, while women and girls often require additional encouragement in a society that frequently marginalizes them.
I would have loved to stay and provide the much-needed feminist perspective, but when another mom argued that concepts like gender neutrality and fluidity were designed to undermine masculinity, I had to exit before my head exploded.
Let me be clear: Internalized misogyny is real and thriving. You might deny its existence, but that won’t alter the reality. The discussion I encountered is merely a snapshot of a broader issue.
In many parts of the modern world, including the United States, there is no concerted war against men or masculinity. If you need proof, just look at the chaos that is our current political climate, where a blatant war on women’s rights is being waged. Despite this, many women defend these regressive actions—53% of white women voted for a president who is notoriously unfit and has made derogatory remarks about women. It’s baffling, yet indicative of deeper issues at play.
Now, let’s revisit those white women who supported a clearly sexist leader. Their behavior exemplifies internalized misogyny. I often encountered the reasoning, “I don’t feel discriminated against, so the idea of inequality must be exaggerated.” This perspective is deeply flawed. Just because your experiences don’t reflect inequality doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist for others. Your interactions with men may be respectful, but that doesn’t negate the struggles faced by women who don’t share your privilege, especially women of color.
The current president exemplifies a disturbing misogyny; he reduces women to their physical attributes, making outrageous comments about his own daughters and objectifying women at large. His defenders often shrug off his behavior as “just locker room talk,” perpetuating the dangerous notion that such attitudes are normal and harmless.
If you can relate to victim-blaming thoughts in discussions about sexual assault—like suggesting a woman “should’ve known better” because she was drunk—then you’ve likely internalized misogyny. Blaming victims is a clear indicator of this issue.
Let me clarify: A woman’s choice to drink does not justify her being assaulted. She could be wearing anything, even nothing, and it still wouldn’t be “asking for it.” I recall sharing an article about a woman who was assaulted by a friend, and a fellow acquaintance commented that she should have “known her limits.” Are you kidding me? The responsibility lies solely with the perpetrator, not the victim.
This pattern of rationalizing and excusing sexual violence is rampant and must be addressed. Women need to challenge these ingrained beliefs and stop providing excuses for male behavior that is sexist or criminal.
Let’s be honest: Internalized misogyny is real and it’s harmful. It’s time to confront these beliefs, stop victim-blaming, and hold everyone accountable.
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Summary
Internalized misogyny persists in society, affecting women’s perceptions of gender equality and the treatment of victims of sexual assault. Many women excuse sexist behavior, often reflecting their own internalized biases. It is crucial to recognize and challenge these thoughts to foster a more equitable environment.