Instilling Gratitude: Why I Make My Kids Write Thank You Notes

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As a parent, I don’t take a hard stance on many issues, preferring to navigate the parenting journey with understanding and flexibility. However, one principle I hold dear is the importance of thank you notes. I firmly believe that expressing gratitude is a cornerstone of being a polite and gracious individual, and I am committed to teaching my children this lesson.

In recent years, the tradition of writing handwritten thank you notes has declined significantly. This shift troubles me, as it seems to diminish our appreciation for kindness and generosity. Growing up as an only child, I was showered with gifts from family members. My parents, mindful of the “spoiled only child” stereotype, made sure I understood the value of gratitude by requiring me to write thank you notes for every gift I received. While I may not have enjoyed it as a child, looking back, I am incredibly grateful for that lesson.

Research has shown a strong connection between gratitude and happiness. By teaching my children to pause and reflect on the kindness they receive, I believe they will grow up to appreciate the generosity of others. Whether it’s a stranger holding the door, a teacher going above and beyond, or a friend bringing flowers to dinner, I want my kids to recognize and acknowledge these acts of kindness.

My husband and I have established a clear thank you note policy in our home. If someone gives a birthday gift, they receive a thank you note, regardless of whether they were present for the opening. After holidays or special events, I maintain a list on the fridge to ensure every gift is acknowledged. When our children were younger, we would help them by writing notes based on their drawings. Now that they are older, we provide fun stationery and stamps to make the process enjoyable. Our seven-year-old even takes the initiative to write to long-distance relatives, often surprising me with his thoughtfulness.

Yes, writing thank you notes can be time-consuming, especially when kids are young. But when did we decide that showing appreciation wasn’t worth the effort? Writing these notes allows my children to practice their writing skills while reflecting on the joy a gift brought them. It cultivates a mindset of gratitude, steering them away from entitlement.

While some may find a text or phone call sufficient, we believe in the value of traditional thank you notes. It’s a habit I hope my children carry into adulthood, reminding them that kindness should always be acknowledged and gratitude is worth the effort.

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In summary, instilling the practice of writing thank you notes is an essential aspect of my parenting philosophy. It not only teaches my children the value of gratitude but also nurtures their writing skills and appreciation for the kindness of others.