Just like many parents, I can often predict accidents moments before they occur. My son is zooming down the hill on his bike, distracted by a bird overhead, while my daughter is attempting to balance on the edge of a chair to reach a high shelf. It’s almost a family joke that I’ll exclaim, “Careful! You’re about to…” and the event I just warned them about happens before I can finish my sentence. My kids half-joke that I have a crystal ball, and while they take my warnings to heart, I sometimes wonder if I am being overly cautious.
I do my best to step back when they’re exploring new activities, but it’s tough to stay silent when I foresee a spill or a fall. However, I worry that my constant intervention may inhibit their ability to assess risks on their own.
Recently, I stumbled upon a thought-provoking suggestion on social media: rather than either pointing out every potential mishap or remaining silent, ask your child, “What’s your plan?” This simple question encourages children to recognize that their current actions may lead to undesirable outcomes while empowering them to think critically about their choices.
This approach can be applied to many situations I encounter. For example, if my daughter is trying to climb up to reach something from a high cabinet, asking her what her plan is can prompt her to consider the stability of the chair before she climbs. Similarly, if my son is putting off his homework, instead of nagging him about the consequences of procrastination, I can casually inquire, “What’s your plan for homework?” This allows him to reflect on whether he’s willing to risk turning it in late without me having to lecture him, thereby putting him in control of his own academic choices.
In a world filled with helicopter parenting, asking “What’s your plan?” offers a refreshing alternative to over-involvement. I must admit, however, that I may never manage to restrain myself from warning my child to steer clear of my coffee; I’ve learned from experience that any excitement near my drink is a recipe for disaster.
Using the “What’s your plan?” technique can be beneficial in various scenarios. If my children haven’t considered the potential outcomes of their actions, this question urges them to think critically. On the other hand, if they have a plan in mind, I get to hear their creative solutions, revealing insights I may not have anticipated.
Often, just as I read in that social media post, kids surprise us. Their actions may seem reckless at first glance, but they could be fully aware of the risks and choose to take them anyway. Sometimes, it’s our role as parents to allow them to learn through experience, even if we’re convinced we know how it will turn out.
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In summary, the “What’s your plan?” method empowers children to think critically about their actions, promoting independence while still allowing parents to guide them without overstepping.