Navigating the world of social media with a tween is daunting for many parents, including me. Concerns about online predators, cyberbullying, issues of social inclusion and exclusion, and sensitive topics that we hoped to discuss later loom large. The landscape is confusing, especially since many of us didn’t grow up with social media. Each day seems to bring a new app for our kids to interact with. While most parents are comfortable with platforms like Facebook and the occasional Instagram post, TikTok, Snapchat, and Instagram Stories have exploded onto the scene, amplifying our children’s exposure and self-exposure.
My kids understand that as long as they are active on these platforms, I will be monitoring their accounts. I’m logged into all of their profiles on my phone, and if I discover any secret accounts, they’ll lose their phones for good. To better understand the landscape, I conducted an experiment over the past week where I observed my children’s interactions and the videos recommended to them based on their viewing habits. Here’s what I found:
- A collage posted by my daughter excluded one of her friends, who just happens to be the daughter of my best friend.
- My husband appeared in a TikTok, unaware that his playful actions could be misinterpreted with suggestive lyrics.
- My 10-year-old and her friends were mimicking inappropriate gestures while dancing to suggestive lyrics.
- A video about abortion appeared on my elementary-age child’s “For You” page.
- My 14-year-old son shared content that was shockingly explicit for his age.
- My 9-year-old daughter pleaded for likes while showcasing her pajamas and displaying her belly.
The list goes on, revealing unsettling patterns. Kids as young as 9 are seeking validation through likes and shares, often at the expense of their peers. They make fun of teachers, engage in explicit content, and share videos that can alienate or hurt others. It’s frightening to see how many children have public accounts, inviting anyone—from classmates to unknown individuals—into their lives.
After this week of observation, it’s evident that many parents aren’t having crucial conversations with their kids about what they post and why. It’s imperative to sit down with children of all ages and discuss their social media presence. Go through their posts together, highlighting what could lead to future regrets or hurt feelings. Ask them how many accounts they maintain; you might be surprised to find they have more than one, often with troubling usernames.
Set guidelines for what is appropriate to share. Ask your children questions like: “Would you be comfortable if your teacher or future employer saw this post?” or “How would you feel if someone was hurt by what you shared?”
It’s vital to encourage open communication, helping kids understand the potential consequences of their online actions. For example, they should know that posting about personal matters or using derogatory language could harm others or themselves in the long run. My children have learned to think before they post, following a mantra that emphasizes the importance of considering the impact of their content.
Ultimately, while I started this project worried about my own kids, I ended it with deep concern for their entire generation. Social media isn’t going anywhere, and it’s essential for parents to engage in meaningful discussions about it. If you’re interested in more insights on this topic, you can check out this related blog post or visit this authority on social media safety. Additionally, the CDC provides excellent resources for understanding broader implications.
In summary, parents must actively engage with their kids about social media to help them navigate this complex and often risky landscape.