As a parent of several children with special needs, there are important insights I want to share with others. My personal health challenges include asthma, dysautonomia, endometriosis, and major depression. When I became a parent, my list expanded to include raising a child on the autism spectrum, dealing with immune deficiencies, food allergies, and speech apraxia. This reality makes the simple question, “How are you?” much more complex.
Right now, it’s 9 PM, my kids are peacefully asleep, and I’m tempted by some cookie dough. So, I’d say I’m doing pretty well! But is it misleading not to share every detail? I don’t think so, yet I do wonder about the concerns of those around us.
Finding Community Amidst Challenges
For parents like me, who face multiple challenges, finding community becomes essential. I don’t just identify as an ASD mom; I also deal with chronic exhaustion. My children require various therapies, and it’s not just about finding someone who can relate to my exact experience. I need to connect with someone who understands the full spectrum of my struggles without being overwhelmed. It’s not about picking one challenge; it’s about embracing the entirety of our experiences.
We refuse to be defined solely by our hardships or achievements. Our daily interactions showcase our realities:
- When I express fatigue, it could stem from numerous issues. Instead of jumping to conclusions, I appreciate when people ask for clarification.
- My children carry diagnostic labels that help us seek necessary assistance—they’re not limitations or excuses for behavior. These labels provide us with the insight and patience needed to support them effectively.
- While well-intentioned, questioning our diagnoses or treatment plans can be inappropriate. We invest considerable effort into researching and seeking diverse opinions to navigate a path that feels “normal” for us. If you’re curious, I welcome genuine inquiries that acknowledge our complexities.
- Different phases of life can be significantly more challenging than others. Balancing autoimmune issues, speech challenges, social barriers, and everyday family dynamics can amplify stress. Your understanding during these times means a lot.
- While we often exhibit resilience, please refrain from idolizing us. If given the choice, we wouldn’t have opted for this journey. Statements like “I couldn’t do what you do” can feel dismissive. We navigate life moment by moment—not always out of certainty for a positive outcome but because we hold onto hope, the kind that is often messy and real.
Embracing the Full Spectrum of Experiences
Can you handle this mix of experiences? Embrace the buffet of life instead of expecting us to choose one struggle.
In summary, navigating life as a parent of children with special needs involves balancing various challenges while seeking understanding and connection. It’s about fostering relationships with those who can appreciate our full spectrum of experiences without judgment.
Additional Resources
For more information on home insemination, check out our blog post about the home insemination kit. For those considering fertility treatments, March of Dimes is an excellent resource. Also, for insights on egg freezing, visit Intracervical Insemination.