A few years back, I glanced out the window and spotted my then-5-year-old scaling a 20-foot tree in our backyard. At first, I was taken aback, as his small frame seemed so out of place in the vastness of the tree. Yet there he was, completely at ease. I called out, “Stay smart up there!” and captured the moment with a photo, pushing aside the thoughts of potential trips to the ER. Thankfully, he was just fine, and to this day, he climbs that tree with gusto. My partner and I not only allow it but actively encourage it too.
For many parents, the image of a young child climbing a tall tree unsupervised may evoke anxiety. Some might label us as reckless or negligent, but I firmly believe otherwise. Today’s children are statistically safer than ever, yet many parents seem to be increasingly anxious. Some lean towards the “Bubble Wrap” approach to parenting, while others advocate for a “Let Them Get Hurt” philosophy.
The Impact of Hovering
What happens when we hover over our kids constantly? We end up raising anxious children who struggle with managing emotions like fear, anger, or failure. We inadvertently project our own fears onto them, signaling that we don’t believe in their capabilities. In contrast, when we support risky play and help them confront their fears, we empower them to navigate dangers responsibly. Our actions communicate trust and belief in their abilities.
The Science Behind Play
This viewpoint is backed by science. Numerous studies advocate for the emotion regulation theory of play, which posits that children learn to manage their emotions through engaging in play. Activities that involve rough-and-tumble play help kids learn to cope with anger, while engaging in risky play allows them to experience fear in manageable doses. Researchers assert that kids learn to confront their fears and emerge unscathed, a crucial life skill.
Without opportunities for risky play, there can be an uptick in neuroses and emotional disorders among children. Over the last 60 years, experts have noted a significant decline in chances for children to play freely and unsupervised, particularly in risky ways. Coincidentally, there has been a rise in various mental health issues among children. This correlation is not lost on professionals in the field.
The Real Threat
The real threat to our kids isn’t the trees they climb or the roughhousing they partake in; it’s us, the parents. “There’s a massive focus on creating the perfect child by enrolling them in music lessons, sports, and other structured activities,” states Jenna Smith, an active play advocate from a local community center. “In doing so, we miss the chance to help them cultivate essential soft skills like problem-solving and teamwork through peer interaction.”
Ironically, it’s often organized activities that lead to the highest injury rates. According to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, over 3.5 million children under 14 receive medical treatment for sports-related injuries each year. Experts believe that the adult-driven competitive nature of these activities encourages children to take risks they might otherwise avoid in unstructured play.
Encouraging Independence
Instead of dictating their actions, we should encourage children’s curiosity. Questions like “Have you thought about trying this?” or “Is there another way to reach the top?” can foster independence and thoughtful risk-taking.
So, let’s take a step back. Allow your kids to walk to school with friends. Look away when they climb that tree. Hold back the urge to shout “Be careful!” or “Not so high!” Instead, cheer them on as they push their boundaries, even if it means you’re holding your breath the entire time.
Conclusion
In conclusion, embracing risky play is essential for developing resilient, emotionally intelligent children. It’s about balancing safety with the freedom to explore and learn.
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