Recently, I witnessed an incident at the local swimming pool that left me both baffled and concerned. A young boy was running around, prompting the pool attendant to remind him to walk, as is customary at any pool. The child’s father — a stocky, serious man — stormed over to the attendant, insisting that only he had the authority to tell his child what to do and that any comments should be directed at him, not his son. Essentially, it was a clear message: “Don’t correct my child; I’ll handle it.”
The attendant, maintaining composure (I probably would have rolled my eyes), explained that it was his responsibility to enforce the pool rules, which universally include “no running.” The father, however, doubled down, asserting that he saw nothing wrong with his child’s behavior and demanded that the attendant back off. In his view, the child’s safety and adherence to the rules were secondary to his personal authority as a parent.
This incident reflects a growing concern among reasonable adults. In another scenario, my sister had some friends over, and one of the adults gently suggested to her child that they should share. The adult quickly realized their mistake, apologizing for overstepping. However, my sister was taken aback. “Please, I want you to correct my kids when necessary! They need to learn to take feedback from others,” she insisted.
In my opinion, if I’m the only one allowed to guide my children, I am setting them up for failure. They’ll grow up expecting that the world revolves around their whims. Following the logic of that overprotective father, lifeguards wouldn’t be able to do their jobs, teachers would be unable to educate, and managers couldn’t manage. This is a slippery slope.
Is this obsession with cushioning our children’s experiences a new societal norm? We’ve all seen that overzealous parent who is constantly at the school, advocating for their child to achieve academic accolades. Later in life, those children often find themselves unprepared, facing challenges without parental intervention.
For instance, my middle-schooler and his project partner missed a deadline after being reminded multiple times. The other child’s mother, whom I barely knew, came to my house and insisted on discussing the “injustice” for nearly an hour. She was distraught over her child’s failure, seeking a way to rectify it. I suggested she escalate the issue to someone at the school, as I had no solutions to offer.
I’m proud to say my high-schooler has faced his share of failures. We recently discussed how important it is for him to experience setbacks while still at home. It’s a crucial life lesson — learning to cope with disappointment and move on is invaluable. I refuse to let my child crumble at the first sign of adversity in college because I’ve shielded him from the realities of life.
This serves as a reminder to everyone who knows my kids: feel free to hold them accountable. It’s perfectly acceptable to guide them on your turf. If they’re misbehaving, please intervene. I have a selfish motive for this: I want my children to grow into responsible, self-sufficient adults.
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In summary, we need to encourage a community where guiding one another’s children is embraced, fostering resilience and accountability in our kids, rather than shielding them from necessary lessons.