Recently, I came across a quote on social media that resonated with me: “Embrace the glorious mess that you are.” I wholeheartedly support the idea of embracing the chaos that life often throws our way. Whether it’s the aftermath of a playdate or a mess I’ve created myself, life is full of unexpected twists and turns that can leave us feeling overwhelmed. However, I believe that while messes are a part of life, maintaining balance is crucial.
At a glance, one might think that balance means achieving perfection, especially for women. I can appreciate this perspective, but I contend that balance is essential in our lives. Balance is defined as an equal distribution of weight that allows someone or something to remain steady. For parents—both mothers and fathers—remaining steady is vital. Even those without kids desire to find their own sense of equilibrium.
Of course, life can knock us off balance—unexpected events can disrupt our stability. But the goal should always be to regain that balance. Often, women conflate balance with the idea of doing everything, which is simply unfeasible. A public figure I follow once mentioned a few essential elements in her pursuit of balance: nourishment, spiritual practices, and love. While each of these components is important, achieving balance in life requires more than just these three.
To truly find balance, we need to consider physical activity, work commitments, family time, relationship nurturing, and even leisure. It’s rare to have the opportunity to do everything we want. Even if we attempt to balance our responsibilities evenly, there’s a limit to how much we can handle before things fall apart.
Creating balance necessitates making choices. On one side of the seesaw, you might place exercise and healthy eating; on the other, work obligations and restful sleep. Your seesaw is likely already full, which means that big-ticket items must take priority. When they don’t, achieving balance becomes nearly impossible.
Then there are the additional responsibilities: socializing with friends, household chores, and perhaps even a home renovation project. You might have aspirations for a Pinterest-worthy craft or a family vacation to organize. However, the reality is that you must prioritize. Balance requires us to recognize and accept our limitations. Those unexpected challenges can tip the scales, so when something new arises, it’s essential to reassess and remove something from the other side to regain equilibrium.
Perhaps that elaborate homemade birthday cake you envisioned? Maybe this year, it’s perfectly fine to opt for a store-bought version. Your children will likely appreciate the gesture just the same. That home renovation? It may need to wait.
The truth is, while we often want to do it all, the reality is that we can’t—at least not without sacrificing our sanity and stability. There will be fleeting moments when everything aligns perfectly, but then life will throw a curveball, whether it’s a family emergency, an unexpected job loss, or something as minor as a spilled drink.
When faced with these disruptions, it’s crucial to balance the scales, which might mean deprioritizing some tasks. If you suddenly have to clean up an unplanned mess, perhaps you skip laundry for the day or shorten your workout. Instead of compensating by piling on more obligations, consider what you can take off your plate or seek support.
Help is not a sign of weakness; it’s a valuable tool in the quest for balance. Just like elite gymnasts rely on spotters when attempting challenging moves, we too can benefit from support in our lives. Whether it’s a friend, a therapist, or a coworker, having someone to lean on can help us navigate our responsibilities more effectively.
When you reach a point where you can prioritize daily tasks and recognize when you need assistance, you’ll find that balance. And balance is essential for a fulfilling life.
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Summary
Balance in parenting and life is crucial yet often misunderstood. It requires recognizing our limitations, prioritizing essential tasks, and sometimes seeking help to regain equilibrium when unexpected challenges arise. Embracing the messiness of life while striving for balance can lead to greater fulfillment.