When I relocated to Austin two years ago, I was completely alone. After nearly a decade in Seattle raising my children, the thought of starting anew was daunting, especially after having built a wonderful community of moms. Socializing in an unfamiliar city can feel akin to dating—you meet new people through school events or neighborhood gatherings, peeling back the layers of potential friendships like an onion, all while determining who truly fits into your life.
During my first PTA meeting in Austin, I met Laura. Our initial conversations were typical small talk, reflecting the surface-level nature of many early female friendships. However, when summer arrived and our kids joined the same swim team, I saw a different side of her. Night after night, as we sat by the pool, Laura would scan the area, ensuring that no mom felt isolated.
“Hey, Jessica! Why are you over there all alone?” she would call out to a mom sitting by herself. “Come join us! Everyone, this is Jessica—her daughter is starting second grade with ours!”
Laura made it a point to include everyone, creating an atmosphere of warmth and camaraderie. Her inclusive nature was truly remarkable. Whether at a painting event or in the restroom of a restaurant, she effortlessly sparked conversations and brought people together.
Many discussions surrounding motherhood touch on the theme of inclusion. Some women wrestle with feelings of exclusion, yearning for invitations to playdates or girls’ nights. The social dynamics we navigated in childhood often linger. Laura faced significant bullying growing up, but rather than allowing her past insecurities to diminish her spirit, she committed herself to uplifting others.
“Second grade was a particularly tough time for me,” she recalled. “I was held back in reading and lost a front tooth. Friends turned into bullies, calling me names and mocking my appearance. It was the first time I felt like an outsider.”
This experience shaped her for years, but before high school, Laura switched schools, seizing the opportunity to redefine herself. “I got a fresh start and thought, ‘Now’s my chance to rewrite my story.’ I also wanted to make sure others would never feel the way I once did.”
Her commitment to inclusivity has carried into her role as a mother. “Finding your tribe is about exploring different activities until something clicks,” she explained. “When my daughter was little, we tried playgroups, dance classes, and swim lessons. Ultimately, we discovered our connections within the swim community. Friendships should come naturally. If you find yourself exhausting efforts to make a friendship work, it’s probably not worth it.”
Despite still grappling with insecurities, like many women, Laura remains aware that everyone has their own struggles. As the new school year begins, it’s vital for us mothers to model kindness for our children as they meet new classmates.
“Want to know how to kick off a new friendship? Approach others with a friendly smile,” she suggested. “A simple smile can alleviate someone else’s anxiety about reaching out.”
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In summary, Laura exemplifies the power of inclusivity in motherhood. By reaching out to others and fostering connections, she creates a welcoming environment for everyone, reminding us all of the importance of kindness and community.