It’s hard to believe that my children are returning to school in just a week. This summer flew by, and I find myself busy labeling supplies, cleaning backpacks, and attending orientations. My inbox is overflowing with updates about bus schedules, new policies, and reminders. The carefree days of summer are fading as we prepare for another year of educational challenges.
This year, unlike in the past, I plan to minimize my focus on academic performance and communication with teachers. After the experiences of the last year and a half, I’ve come to realize that nothing is more important than my children’s mental health and overall wellbeing. My priority this school year is to ensure my kids are genuinely okay, rather than stressing over grades and assignments.
We’ve all faced significant challenges, from navigating remote and in-person learning to dealing with mask debates and lost extracurricular activities. The chaos has taken a toll on everyone, including teachers, who have become unsung heroes in this tumultuous time. They were unprepared for the whirlwind of expectations and uncertainty, just like the rest of us.
Remote learning has shown us that teaching is far from easy. Teachers are often overworked and underappreciated, and we’ve only scratched the surface of what they face daily. With this newfound understanding, I feel it’s crucial to share a simple message with fellow parents: Let’s ease up.
The essence of our children’s development goes beyond academic achievements and test scores. They haven’t fallen behind and don’t necessarily need to be rushed to catch up. Behind whom? It’s essential to extend grace to our children for enduring such a traumatic and ongoing situation. The same empathy is due to their teachers, who deserve recognition and support.
I truly hope that the pandemic has taught us the importance of prioritizing our children’s mental, emotional, and physical health. They need to understand that resting is more important than acing tests and that social connections outweigh perfecting research papers. We should model these values, encouraging our kids to strive for their best while also providing support. Remember, doing your best doesn’t mean sacrificing your wellbeing.
I know there are some who might argue that this perspective is more suited for younger children, especially with a high school junior in the mix. I understand the need to prepare older kids for life after high school—I’ve been a college instructor and seen both sides. While it’s crucial to equip young adults for the future, focusing solely on academics without addressing their mental health can lead to failure. I’ve witnessed students crumble under pressure, highlighting the need for a holistic approach to education.
Every child must know that their worth extends beyond grades. I’ve seen brilliant students struggle with mental health issues due to relentless pressure from parents and themselves. Although I didn’t teach during a pandemic, I’ve learned that without a focus on overall wellness, academic success is unattainable.
By stepping back and reducing the pressure, we are teaching our kids to do the same. It’s not healthy to push through our emotions and pretend that nothing has changed due to pandemic schooling. We are continually bombarded with information about masks and vaccinations, and we need to acknowledge that our children are navigating this too.
There have been days when the weight of the pandemic hits me hard—frustration, confusion, anger, and heartbreak. If I can feel this way, why shouldn’t my children, who are expected to don masks for hours while learning, be allowed to express their feelings? None of us anticipated or wished for this pandemic, and we must create space for the emotional highs and lows that come with learning in these challenging times.
Yes, the pandemic has pushed us to be more adaptable than ever, which isn’t necessarily negative. However, demanding more of ourselves and our children, along with the teachers, is unsustainable. What if we collectively embraced the idea of doing the bare minimum, allowing for creativity and rest, while letting go of unnecessary pressures? What if we chose to extend grace instead of criticism?
As we embark on this school year, I hope it becomes a joyful and memorable experience for my children—and yours, too. I want our kids to learn to value their whole selves, listen to their bodies, and recognize that their grades are far less important than their overall wellbeing. I believe this can happen if we, as parents, lead the way. For more insights on parenting and wellbeing, check out this post, and for authoritative information, visit this resource or this excellent guide.
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In summary, this school year, let’s shift our focus from academic pressures to nurturing our kids’ mental and emotional health. By supporting our children and easing the demands we place on them, we can foster an environment where they thrive.