You remember the power of a stern gaze from a parent or teacher? Just one raised eyebrow or a piercing stare could render you speechless. You’d instantly stop whatever mischief you were up to—whether it was putting down a toy or halting a cheeky comment directed at your sibling. That’s the essence of the parental glare.
Consider how your mom could chill you to your core with just a slight shift in her tone or how your dad could simply utter your name, signaling an end to any nonsense. No shouting, just a calm but firm delivery. That’s what I call the parent voice.
These are skills that seasoned parents master over time, but I’m still perfecting them. As I navigate nearly six years of parenthood with two kids in tow, I’m aware that I should have these tools at my disposal. However, I find myself relying on a more primal skill—yelling. Yes, I admit it: I yell. A lot. And surprisingly, it works.
My son, for instance, is still at that age where a little fright can redirect his energy. Now, before you judge me, remember that even Elmo gives him the creeps. I’m not channeling a comedic meltdown here; I’m just raising my voice enough to grab his attention. I often feel guilty afterward, but the results speak for themselves.
I don’t want my son to fear me; I merely want to jolt him into awareness when he’s engaged in reckless behavior. At five years old, he often requires multiple reminders before he registers anything I say. His antics can be wild—head-butting his baby brother or jumping on me while I’m holding a hot cup of coffee. His impulsive nature means he often acts without thinking, and sometimes, a firm voice is necessary to regain control.
Are There Other Methods Besides Yelling?
Certainly. I mentioned the parental voice and the glare earlier, but those techniques take time to refine and can be tricky when your child is constantly moving and making noise. Sometimes, a little volume is needed to bridge the distance and cut through distractions. A well-timed shout can achieve all of that.
However, I recognize the risk of over-relying on yelling. If I use it too frequently, it may just fade into background noise, losing its impact. I’m aware that my son’s safety is paramount—whether it’s preventing him from harming himself, his brother, or our belongings. While I prefer not to resort to shouting, it sometimes seems like the best option when he’s in full-on chaos mode.
Right now, it feels like a race against time: the effectiveness of my yelling versus my son’s growth and understanding of consequences. I hope he learns to moderate his behavior soon, allowing me to save my raised voice for those exceptional occasions. Until then, I’ll continue to yell. It may rattle him a bit, but it frequently does the trick, even if just for a moment. And let’s be honest, when I don’t raise my voice, he often tunes me out entirely. A dad has to do what a dad has to do.
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In summary, while I may not have mastered the art of calm parental control just yet, I embrace my role as the parent who raises his voice. It’s not ideal, but it’s part of my journey in learning to navigate the ups and downs of parenting.