There I was at the park, watching my oldest son, Noah, run around at soccer practice. In front of me, my youngest, a lively five-year-old named Mia, was bouncing off everything in sight. My daughter, Lily, was at home with her mom, buried in homework. And me? I was comfortably settled on a park bench, soaking it all in.
A young dad in his twenties was energetically chasing after a bunch of kids on the playground. He was leaping off play structures and zooming down slides, still full of vigor even after a long day at work. His enthusiasm was palpable, and I could feel his gaze on me, silently questioning why I wasn’t joining in the fun.
Listen, my young friend, I respect what you’re doing. You’re doing an incredible job playing with your kids, and I commend you for it. When I was in my twenties with just one little one, I was right there with you—running, jumping, and playing tag. Those moments are precious, and I fully understand their importance.
But now, as I approach 40, life has changed. I have three kids with a wide age range: 5, 8, and 12. That comes with its own challenges—dealing with a moody tween, a kindergartner who has questionable bathroom habits, and a middle child who feels overlooked.
Juggling two jobs has taken a toll—my back is constantly aching, and I often feel drained by evening. I keep pushing through, but the reality is, my body isn’t suited for the playground antics anymore. And you know what? I don’t feel guilty about it.
I wake up before dawn, survive on copious amounts of caffeine, and lie awake at night worrying about bills and my kids’ school performance. The stress can be overwhelming, but through it all, I’ve come to cherish those rare moments of simply sitting on a bench, doing nothing.
In those moments, while you were busy playing with your kids, I found peace. Nobody was clamoring for attention, no snack requests, no arguments to settle—just a quiet reprieve. Perhaps my standards have shifted after a decade of parenting, but finding joy in sitting back while my kids entertain themselves feels like bliss to me.
You might read this and scoff, thinking I should just toughen up or make some joke about my social life. You might even think I’m a poor excuse for a dad. But that’s not the point here. This isn’t about being a good or bad parent; it’s about the evolution that comes with age.
As I’ve navigated the ups and downs of parenting for over a decade, I’ve learned to value my own time and let my kids explore the world independently. You realize that it’s okay for them to find their own fun, and you start to appreciate those moments of stillness.
Trust me, you’ll get to this place too.
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In summary, as we age through the parenting journey, our perspectives shift. We come to appreciate the quiet moments and the importance of allowing our children to entertain themselves, all while we find a little peace for ourselves.