Today marked the first truly delightful spring day we’ve experienced, and I took my 3-year-old son to the park. He dashed around, his tousled dirty-blonde hair dancing in the wind. He hopped from step to step, climbed up the slide, bumped into other children, paused at the top of the ladder, and then tumbled straight into my arms.
And there I was, absorbed in my phone, snapping away. I must have taken around 50 pictures. Something about this day compelled me to capture every moment.
My little boy, 3 years, 6 months, and 5 days old. His hair at this exact length, with that one stubborn strand that always falls over his eyes. He wore a blue sweater—the same one his brother had outgrown—already seeming too small, with a long green shirt peeking out from beneath it. The way he spun around, scanning the playground for me every minute, his big blue-green eyes wide with excitement, searching for my presence, yet unsure of where I was.
I felt an urgent need to document it all, to hold onto these fleeting moments.
For our children, time seems to stretch infinitely. They are fully immersed in the present, where each day feels like an eternity. For us parents, time can drag, especially during challenging moments. Yet, we are acutely aware of how quickly our little ones grow, transforming right before our eyes.
So, I photographed him to remember it all, to cling to these memories as they slipped away. While not every outing leads to such an excessive number of photos, I do find myself capturing many moments, especially when we’re on adventures. Yet, I sometimes wonder: at what cost? If I’m always behind the lens, am I truly savoring each moment with my children?
My father was a professional photographer during my upbringing, and his favorite subjects were my sister and me. I recall posing for him often—standing in front of grand Redwoods, holding my sister’s hand at amusement parks, playgrounds, beaches, museums—wherever we went. Even when I wasn’t posing, he was clicking away, capturing our everyday experiences (he always said he loved candid shots).
At times, I found it a bit overwhelming. There was a certain obsessive quality to it, as though I was always under scrutiny. Yet, I felt cherished and valued. My dad would take breaks to play with me, and he was a fantastic listener and playmate.
Now, I cherish the countless beautiful photos of my childhood captured through my father’s lens. I look at some and feel tears welling up. They encapsulate the beauty of my childhood, which was often tumultuous, granting permanence to what is inherently transient.
In this digital age, many of us find ourselves glued to our phones, documenting every moment instead of simply living it. Is my tendency to record my children’s lives problematic?
I’m not entirely sure, but I lean toward no. I believe I can strike a balance. I can indulge in capturing my kids’ lives while also being present in the moment when it truly counts.
As our morning at the playground wound down, my son wanted me to chase him. I relished the liberating feeling of running after him, phone left behind, feeling the wind through my hair as I chased his delighted figure across the playground. I wasn’t preoccupied with capturing anything but was wholly engaged in the experience.
However, when we took a moment to share a bottle of water, I felt that familiar urge to document—his expressions, his laughter, the delightful words tumbling from his mouth. I didn’t want to forget any of it, even though I knew it would inevitably vanish in an instant.
After about 20 minutes of setting aside my photography obsession, I pulled out my phone for one last shot of him happily munching peanuts and crackers in his stroller. I thought to myself: maybe today, I’m just one of those moms being a bit annoying and a wee bit obsessive.
My kids are my greatest treasures, and it’s only natural for moms to get a little quirky about it. I trust that one day, my children will appreciate all the snapshots I’ve taken, capturing the beauty in their every gesture and preserving both the ordinary and extraordinary moments of their childhoods.
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In summary, I embrace my role as a mom who captures moments while navigating the balance of living in the present. The joy of motherhood inspires my photography, and I hope my children will cherish these memories as much as I do.