I’m Team Wedding on Netflix’s ‘Marriage or Mortgage’

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Owning a home has become a significant aspiration in our society. The so-called “American Dream” often includes a house with a white picket fence. Yet, for many, this dream remains out of reach. While homeownership is frequently viewed as a solid investment for the future, it requires a certain level of wealth to even begin. This is a crucial aspect that many overlook. In the Netflix series “Marriage or Mortgage,” couples are confronted with a challenging decision: if you could only afford one, which would you pick? For my partner and me, the choice is simple—marriage. We simply don’t have the financial stability necessary for homeownership.

I’d much rather allocate funds towards a wedding than a house. Some may view this as foolish or irresponsible, but the reality is that owning a home is a far more enduring commitment than paying for a wedding. Purchasing a home demands years of financial commitment, while a wedding is a one-time expense. Yes, it’s a significant investment, but once it’s paid for, you’re done. In contrast, the financial obligations of homeownership can last for decades, which is quite daunting. Renting may be inconvenient at times, but it’s always an option. Celebrating a marriage shouldn’t be undervalued in favor of the more “grown-up” choice of buying a home.

My partner, Jamie, and I got engaged during the 2020 holiday season. Naturally, people are already inquiring about our wedding plans. Currently, we’re saving for a wedding that we hope to hold in a few years, but we have other financial priorities to address first. However, having a celebration surrounded by friends and family is incredibly important to us. While watching “Marriage or Mortgage,” we found ourselves relating to a couple named Mia and Tara, who are both older and share a similar dynamic to ours. Like Mia, Jamie has been married before, while I haven’t. For us, a wedding feels like a dream coming true, but being creative professionals helps us realistically manage our finances. If necessary, we can always scale back our plans to save money. Homeownership, on the other hand, seems like an ever-moving target, perpetually out of reach.

At present, both of us are dealing with a fair amount of student loan debt. I have not earned enough to make significant repayments, while Jamie has been paying off her loans as best she can, but the balance is still considerable. I’ve managed to eliminate my credit card debt, but we’re now focused on tackling hers, which is about $11,000. This affects her credit score, and even though mine is decent, it still brings us down when we’re looking for an apartment or even a mortgage. Our situation is far from unique.

The COVID-19 pandemic has underscored the fleeting nature of financial stability. As a writer, I’ve been fortunate to maintain my work, but Jamie, who is in the entertainment industry, has faced job loss. This has resulted in me shouldering the financial burden. The pandemic has taken many jobs, making it difficult to pay bills. You might buy a house only to find yourself suddenly unemployed. So, what then? Even if you can manage your mortgage payments, what if unexpected expenses arise? We’re over a year into this situation, and while some have regained their jobs, we’ve also seen the onset of one of the worst recessions in U.S. history. The long-term implications for homeowners remain uncertain, an issue that “Marriage or Mortgage” fails to address.

Sure, the couples on the show managed to save for a home, but do they have the financial means to sustain those payments? What happens if they encounter unexpected home repairs? While it’s entertaining to watch them debate the merits of a bigger shower or additional garage space, it’s vital to be realistic about the challenges of homeownership. Take, for example, a couple featured on the show who both work in fitness. If one suffers an injury and can’t work for a while, how will they manage? Their parents may assist with the down payment, but it’s unlikely they’ll cover monthly mortgage costs.

There are numerous expenses that potential homeowners often overlook. My partner and I have carefully considered the differences between owning a home and renting. If something goes wrong in your own house, you’re financially responsible for repairs. If the hot water heater fails, not only do you have to hire a repairman, but you also bear all associated costs. In contrast, if something breaks in my apartment, I simply submit a maintenance request, and it gets fixed at no extra charge. This means that if we can’t afford an unexpected $1,000 repair, we won’t be left shivering in a cold shower. Hidden costs like these are essential to consider when thinking about housing.

Many critics of “Marriage or Mortgage” argue that choosing between a house and a wedding in the wake of a global pandemic seems absurd. While this may hold some truth, it’s important to remember that the show was filmed before COVID-19, and the couples couldn’t have predicted the impending health crisis. Some say buying property during a pandemic is wise, given lower housing costs, but economic uncertainty looms large. What if unforeseen financial challenges arise? Most weddings occurred after the pandemic struck, forcing couples to scale back their plans, ultimately saving them money.

In a follow-up article, Women’s Health caught up with couples from the show to discuss their post-show experiences. For instance, Mia and Tara, the nurse couple, faced COVID-related work changes. Both ER nurses, they experienced burnout early in the pandemic and chose to leave their jobs to pursue further education. Had they opted for homeownership, that decision may not have been possible. Similarly, another couple, Alex and Jamie, have seen a decrease in income due to gym closures, showing that personal trainers aren’t a necessity during a pandemic.

My partner and I are aware that our rent could cover a mortgage, yet various challenges hinder that possibility. You don’t need a loan to pay for a wedding venue, and the cost of my wedding dress isn’t tied to my credit score. While weddings can be expensive, I understand why people question spending so much on a single day. However, if our income fluctuates, we’ll still be married, without the fear of losing a home. This reassurance is invaluable.

For more insights related to home insemination, check out this other blog post. Additionally, if you’re interested in pregnancy resources, the CDC offers excellent information on this topic. Explore egg donation as well, as it’s an important aspect of family planning.

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Summary:

In the ongoing debate between marriage and homeownership, the author emphasizes their preference for marriage, citing the greater flexibility and lower long-term commitment involved. With rising expenses and the unpredictability of financial stability, particularly highlighted by the COVID-19 pandemic, the author and their partner prioritize celebrating their union over acquiring a home. They reflect on the complexities of financial obligations and the potential pitfalls of homeownership, advocating for a realistic approach to life decisions during uncertain times.