In today’s society, homeownership is often seen as a key part of the “American Dream,” complete with a white picket fence. However, for many, this dream remains just that—an unattainable ideal. While buying a home is often viewed as a wise investment for the future, it requires a level of financial security that not everyone possesses. This is the dilemma presented in Netflix’s show “Marriage or Mortgage,” where couples must choose between funding their wedding or purchasing a home. For my partner and me, the choice is clear: we prioritize marriage.
We simply don’t have the financial stability needed to invest in homeownership right now. Personally, I’d much rather allocate our funds toward a wedding celebration than a house. Some may view this as impractical, but the reality is that homeownership is a long-term commitment that requires years of financial responsibility. A wedding, while significant, is a one-day event. Once it’s paid for, it’s behind you. In contrast, owning a home ties you down financially for the long haul. Although renting has its frustrations, it remains a flexible option, while the commitment of marriage is a celebration that should not be overshadowed by the pressures of homeownership.
My partner and I got engaged during the 2020 holiday season, and naturally, people are curious about our wedding plans. We’ve communicated that our goal is to save for a wedding in a few years, although we have other financial priorities to address first. Sharing this special moment with family and friends is incredibly important to us. Watching “Marriage or Mortgage,” we resonated with the older couple, Jenna and Mark. Much like Jenna, my partner has been married before, while I have not, making our wedding feel like a fulfillment of dreams amidst our creative professions. If necessary, we can always adjust our plans to save money, unlike the ever-increasing prices of housing.
Currently, both of us are managing significant student loan debt. I haven’t earned enough to make a dent in repayments, while my partner is addressing her debt as best as she can. I’ve cleared my minor credit card debt, but we’re still working on hers, which is around $11,000 and affects her credit score. This lingering debt complicates our ability to secure an apartment, let alone a mortgage. Our situation is not uncommon.
The COVID-19 pandemic has highlighted the fragility of financial security. As a writer, I’ve been able to maintain work, but my partner’s job in the entertainment industry has been severely impacted. This has placed the financial burden primarily on me. Many have lost jobs, making it challenging to pay bills. You might purchase a home only to find yourself out of work—then what? Even if you manage to keep up with mortgage payments, a lack of financial cushion can create significant stress. The pandemic has also ushered in one of the worst recessions in U.S. history—what are the long-term implications for homeowners? This is a question that “Marriage or Mortgage” fails to tackle.
While the couples in the show may have managed to save for a house, do they have the means to sustain those payments? Are they equipped with a safety net for emergencies? Watching the couples argue over the layout of their homes is entertaining, but the show should delve deeper into the harsh realities of homeownership. One couple on the show works in fitness; what would happen if one of them suffered an injury and couldn’t work for a while? Their parents may assist with the down payment, but they likely won’t cover monthly mortgage bills.
Homeownership comes with numerous hidden costs that many overlook when considering buying a home. My partner and I have weighed these against the benefits of renting. If something breaks in your home, you’re responsible for repairs, which can be costly. In contrast, if an issue arises in my rental, I simply submit a maintenance request, and it’s taken care of without additional financial strain. If we find ourselves short on cash, we won’t be left shivering in cold showers.
Critics of “Marriage or Mortgage” argue that in the wake of a global pandemic, the choice between a house and a wedding seems trivial. While it’s valid to question this, it’s essential to remember that the show was filmed before the pandemic. Couples could not foresee the global crisis that would unfold. Some suggest that buying a home during this period is wise due to lower housing costs, but again, the underlying economic uncertainty looms large. What if disaster strikes? Most weddings depicted took place after COVID hit, leading many couples to downsize and save money.
In a follow-up article, a publication interviewed couples from the show about their lives post-filming. Two couples who opted for weddings, Dennis and Lara, and Sophia and Mark, have faced pandemic-related job changes. Both Dennis and Lara, who are ER nurses, experienced burnout from their demanding jobs and ultimately decided to leave the field to pursue further education. Had they chosen to buy a home, they might not have had the freedom to make that choice. Meanwhile, Sophia and Mark, both personal trainers, dealt with a loss in income due to gym closures—definitely not a necessary expense during a pandemic.
We’re aware that our rent could potentially cover a mortgage, yet various obstacles prevent us from making that leap. Unlike a home, you don’t require a loan to secure a wedding venue. My ability to find a wedding dress isn’t influenced by my credit score. Weddings certainly come with their own costs—there’s no denying that. However, if we experience a financial rough patch after marriage, we remain secure in our commitment without the fear of losing a home. And that peace of mind is what matters most.
For more insight on related topics, check out this helpful resource on pregnancy and consider visiting this blog post for additional engaging content. If you’re considering homeownership, this guide on sunglasses can also offer valuable tips.
Summary
This article explores the choice between marriage and homeownership, emphasizing the importance of prioritizing a wedding over a house for couples without significant wealth. It discusses the financial implications of both choices, especially in light of the COVID-19 pandemic, and highlights the hidden costs associated with homeownership that many overlook.