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My daughter recently decided it was time to shave her legs. Feeling ready, especially since many of her friends were arriving at school in shorts with newly shaven legs, she turned to me for support. I assured her I was there to help but reminded her that the choice to shave—or not—was completely up to her. If she wanted to wait or even forgo shaving altogether, that was her prerogative.
She opted to go ahead, and we shared a moment sitting on the tub ledge as I helped her shave her legs. That was several weeks ago, and since then, she hasn’t shown interest in repeating the process. Whether it was underwhelming or she simply doesn’t care is fine by me.
Back when I was in middle school, shaving legs was a rite of passage. Girls flaunted their smooth legs in shorts or skirts, regardless of the chilly weather. It was almost an expectation for girls to start shaving between fifth and seventh grade.
I didn’t have much leg hair, but societal pressures got to me. Owning a silky button-up shirt and having shaved legs felt like prerequisites for fitting in. I ended up with nicked skin and the occasional burn from hair removal lotion due to careless over-application. I soon realized that shaving wasn’t the glamorous transformation I had imagined. In my youthful mind, I believed that wielding a razor would elevate my social status and perceived beauty.
In my childhood, not shaving was something only the hippie types did. Today, many people choose to embrace their natural body hair, liberating themselves from the norms of hair removal. My social media feeds now feature women proudly displaying their unshaved armpits, questioning why they should have to shave if men don’t. When did inflicting pain on ourselves for beauty become the norm?
I’m teaching my kids that if they’re ready and responsible enough to shave, I’ll guide them through the process. But if they prefer to skip it, that’s completely fine too. They can always change their minds at any time.
The concept of body hair positivity extends beyond just hair—it includes how our kids express themselves through fashion, hobbies, and personal style. As long as their choices are safe and suitable for the occasion (hello, school dress codes), what’s the problem? Childhood should be about exploration and self-discovery.
I’ve noticed my kids sometimes being the only ones of their gender in certain activities. For example, my daughter participated in roller hockey, and another child plays the drums, standing out among mostly boys. It’s inspiring to see them thrive in areas that defy stereotypes, as they would have missed out on so much joy by conforming.
Like many parents, I grew up in a time when girls played with dolls and were expected to shave their legs, while boys played with trucks. It’s refreshing to see gender boundaries in clothing dissolve. I remember the discomfort of wearing tights to formal events as a child, while boys enjoyed the comfort of khaki pants. I want my children to avoid those uncomfortable experiences.
Body hair can stay, if that’s what they prefer, or it can go. Their reasons for either choice don’t need validation from anyone. Adolescence is the perfect time to navigate fitting in while also standing out, and it’s crucial for them to establish healthy boundaries regarding their bodies and choices.
I hope more parents embrace body hair positivity and educate their children about the freedom to choose not to alter their bodies if they don’t want to. No matter what choices my kids make, I want them to understand that critiquing others for their decisions is not acceptable. We’d all be happier if we focused on our own bodies and choices instead.
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Summary: In teaching my tweens about body hair, I emphasize that the choice to shave or not is entirely theirs. I reflect on my own experiences with societal pressures regarding beauty and body hair, advocating for the acceptance of personal choices and the importance of self-expression. By fostering a positive environment around these discussions, I hope to empower my children to make informed decisions about their bodies without fear of judgment.