Congratulations on your new arrival! I genuinely hope your birthing or adoption journey was everything you hoped for. May your little one sleep soundly, and how adorable is it to dress them in those tiny outfits? Capturing those moments with photos is a delight, and those typical baby sounds—how they really do say “Goo”—are completely heart-melting. And that baby scent? It’s heavenly, until it isn’t. Are you feeling exhausted? I empathize, but I likely won’t linger on those thoughts. If a friend announces their new baby, I tend to block them.
You’ve probably shared that precious hospital snapshot with the caption, “We adore our little Jamie! Born at the exact minute of this hour and weighing in at the usual baby weight. Our family couldn’t be happier!” It’s met with a flood of likes and comments—hundreds of “Congratulations!” and “So cute!”
I don’t engage. I glance at your baby, who is soft and squishy and everything a newborn should be. But then I stop and hit snooze. I can’t look for too long; it’ll bring me to tears. So, I block you.
I Can’t Have Another Baby
When my youngest was born, I was a sleep-deprived wreck, cradling my little one and crying to my partner, “Please tell me he’s not the last!” He reassured me we’d have more kids, but the baby was barely four days old—was I really allowed to want another yet? Due to various health issues, none of which are particularly thrilling unless you enjoy pregnancy tales, I can’t have another baby. Our dream was always to have a big family, influenced a bit by our upbringing but primarily because we genuinely love children.
If you have a large family, I’m the person who stops you to say how beautiful it is. I admire your good fortune. But I will never have that. Three is my limit, and I don’t want to see your adorable baby pictures. I block you because they remind me of what I will never experience.
I Block You Because I Know What I’m Missing
I fully embraced motherhood. I put my life on hold for my babies, even quitting my graduate studies to become a babywearing enthusiast. Do your breasts hurt? I’m not a lactation consultant, but I nursed all my kids for over three years each, so I can probably assist you. Yes, I was that dedicated.
I know the sweet scent of a newborn and how to care for their umbilical cord. I mastered diapering, and my babies hardly ever cried. I was a fantastic baby mom, and I know I’ll never feel that certainty again. So I block you, as it’s too painful to be reminded. My kids are now eleven, nine, and seven. My cuddliest companion is my German Shepherd, who comforts me while I scroll past your posts.
I Don’t Care If You Think It’s Selfish
You might think I’m being unreasonable. “She should appreciate the healthy kids she has!” my mother would say, but she’s not a reliable voice. I’m allowed to grieve the family I always envisioned, so if you think I’m selfish, it doesn’t bother me. I envisioned having many children, but that’s not my reality, so I block you because your joyful photos serve as a reminder of what I can’t have.
Most days, I’m content with my three boys. They’re at an age where outings are easier—no more diaper bags or baby-related hassles. I love our spontaneous adventures, and I enjoy engaging conversations with my kids, even when they involve dramatic declarations like “I hate you!” But then I see your baby photos, and it hits me hard. I don’t want that gut punch while scrolling through social media. So, I block you to avoid breaking down as I search for something uplifting.
Yes, it’s for the best. Our lives are fulfilling. Eventually, we hope to foster and adopt teens, allowing us to help older kids who need families. A baby would delay that goal, and I truly believe in the importance of teen adoption. My husband and I adore babies, but we’re excited about the future and the children we’ll welcome, even if they won’t be infants. You remind me of what I’ll never have again, and I’m still processing that.
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Summary:
The author reflects on the emotional turmoil of seeing friends share their new baby pictures, which stirs feelings of loss and longing for a larger family that she can no longer have. She expresses gratitude for her three children but acknowledges the pain of seeing what she will miss out on. Ultimately, she blocks these images to protect her heart while looking forward to future plans of fostering.