Lifestyle
Updated: March 27, 2020
Originally Published: March 23, 2020
My parents and extended family live approximately five hours away from me. Moving across the state 13 years ago was not part of my initial plan; it evolved gradually over time. First came a job, then a boyfriend who became my husband, followed by another job, and ultimately, two wonderful kids. My life gradually anchored itself here, with each reason to leave countered by multiple reasons to remain.
I am fortunate to visit them frequently, and they often come to see us as well. While FaceTime helps bridge the gaps between visits, there are moments when I profoundly miss them. I find solace in believing that our relationship has grown stronger through this distance, making our time together even more precious.
I also constantly reassure myself that my family is content here and that I can’t be certain we would have the same quality of life if we had stayed in my hometown. However, a nagging doubt lingers—whether this choice was truly the right one, and if the time lost with my parents will leave me with regrets.
Today, my anxiety and guilt are overwhelming, a feeling unlike anything I’ve faced before. The fear of my parents contracting the coronavirus looms over me relentlessly. Each night, I lie awake, contemplating how I would cope if they fell ill and how quickly I could return home.
Both of my parents are turning 70 this year and have health issues that heighten their vulnerability. I worry for them, fitting into the “high-risk” category that the media discusses. Thankfully, they remain independent and live on their own, but my fears persist. My mind spirals into scenarios of all the things I could do to assist them, detailing the lengths I would go to ensure their safety.
My husband often reminds me that even if I were in my hometown, our options would be limited. The best course of action is likely to keep our distance, allowing them to remain comfortable in their home, which is probably the safest place for them right now.
Yet, I read about older individuals crying in their cars in grocery store parking lots, scared to venture out for essentials. I hear heartbreaking stories of nursing homes where long-married couples are separated, unsure if they’ll ever reunite.
I bombard my mom with articles about safety measures and ways to avoid infection. She responds with gratitude, probably accompanied by an eye roll, and I then move on to torturing myself by reading more about their vulnerabilities.
I know I’m not alone in this. Many others must feel the same gut-wrenching fear for their parents. Yet, it stings more acutely for me, knowing I can’t physically be there for them. Each call or FaceTime feels like it could be our last, similar to those couples in nursing homes.
I will strive to take each day as it comes. I recognize how fortunate I am to still have my parents, and I will focus on today instead of worrying about tomorrow. I will continue to express my love and appreciation for them as often as possible, despite the miles between us. Distance may separate us physically, but showing love is something I can effortlessly do from five hours away.
For more on this topic, check out this insightful article from Home Insemination Kit. Additionally, Intracervical Insemination is a great resource for understanding the challenges of vulnerability during these times. For further information on health and safety, MedlinePlus offers excellent guidance.
Summary:
This article discusses the deep fear and guilt experienced by individuals with aging parents during the pandemic, particularly concerning their health and safety. It highlights the emotional struggle of maintaining relationships across distances and the anxiety surrounding potential illness, emphasizing the importance of cherishing every moment and expressing love, even from afar.