Lifestyle
By Jamie T. Reynolds
Updated: March 19, 2020
Originally Published: Feb. 20, 2018
Shut it down. Seriously. I’m on the verge of unfriending you, and you, and you, and you.
Social media often leads people, especially mothers, to feel inadequate, as if they’re falling short. It makes us feel uncreative, disengaged, or simply not good enough. And honestly, that frustrates me. Motherhood is a challenging journey, and we all navigate it in our own unique ways.
During my initial years as a mother, I felt completely overwhelmed. I consumed every article that popped up in my feed, all intended to guide. Yet, instead of feeling empowered or informed, I ended up feeling worse about myself. Those so-called truths didn’t uplift me; they brought me down.
From parenting tips to perfectly curated family photos, the pressure to measure up was relentless. “Look at us! We’re so happy in matching outfits at the beach.” “Look at us! Our kids are angels at this trendy café.” It felt like a constant competition, and it needed to stop. The truth is, we don’t always wear smiles; we struggle too.
In my early days of motherhood, I was obsessed with a parenting forum where I turned to other new moms for advice. My husband urged me to disconnect. “You’re always fretting about our healthy baby having some terminal illness,” he’d say. He was right. Who were these women, and why did I let their opinions dictate my choices?
Ultimately, I realized I needed to trust my own instincts instead of relying on the voices of strangers. I deleted my account and embraced parenting with my own tools: intuition, love, and common sense. If I had worries, I reached out to my mom or close friends rather than a crowd of anonymous voices.
Recognizing the passive-aggressive parenting advice that cluttered my feed was the next step. While I understood these posts often came from a place of care, they still struck a nerve. I knew my feelings of inadequacy were rooted in my own insecurities. These updates weren’t from strangers but from friends—people who might just be trying to share information about GMOs, sugar, or any number of parenting concerns.
I admit, I enjoy social media. I love the quick escapes it offers and the joy of seeing milestones like weddings or new babies. I appreciate a good laugh or a clever meme, yet I often scroll past political rants and sports debates.
So, I made a conscious decision: I would only engage with content that brought me joy. I became adept at scrolling through my feed, and soon, I noticed I was spending less time ensnared in the social media vortex. I became a better parent, no longer measuring my chaotic parenting style against the unrealistic perfection showcased online. I began to simply be present as a mom. Mistakes? Who cares? They were mine to own.
The overwhelming information and often contradictory advice available can be maddening. I sometimes envy mothers from pre-technology times who simply had to trust their instincts and figure things out as they went along.
At the end of the day, despite the polished images we present on Facebook, we are all fundamentally the same. We’re exhausted. We all yell sometimes. We’ve all had days filled with too much screen time or given in to our kids just to keep the peace. And that’s completely okay.
So, embrace whatever version of a Facebook mom you want to be. We’re all navigating this together. Let’s make it through the next decade, and when we’re empty nesters, we can reminisce over drinks about those chaotic younger years. And yes, we might even take a few selfies to post—just make sure I look good.
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Summary
Navigating motherhood in the age of social media can be challenging. Many mothers face feelings of inadequacy fueled by curated online personas and unsolicited advice. However, the journey of parenting is personal, and it’s essential to trust one’s instincts and find joy in the process rather than comparing oneself to others. Embrace your unique path and remember that we are all in this together.