We all know the stories of professional athletes who praise their mothers, often saying, “My mom is the best. She never missed a [insert sport: soccer game, baseball game, etc.].” While some might find this charming, my immediate reaction is one of skepticism: How on earth did she manage that? It seems impossible to juggle work, other kids, sickness, and the occasional need for self-care while ensuring you’re at every single game.
The notion of a parent never missing a game sounds nice in theory, but should that truly be the benchmark for excellent parenting? I have three children, each involved in various sports and activities. Even with my supportive husband, there are only two of us, and, as expected with the arrival of our third child, we have officially become outnumbered.
Our weekend conversations revolve around how to coordinate the logistics of at least six activities packed into 48 hours. I can’t imagine that orchestrating a spontaneous getaway like the Real Housewives could be more complex than this!
Having recently transitioned from full-time work, I now handle most of the weekday shuttling, but I still rely heavily on my husband, friends, and neighbors. Managing all this alone is impossible, and unless I invent a time machine, I can’t possibly attend every event.
In my previous career, I was fortunate enough to work for a company that valued work-life balance, allowing me some flexibility. I spent my pre-kid years establishing myself as a reliable worker, so when I became a parent, I was able to take advantage of that flexibility. However, not everyone is so lucky. Many parents work hourly jobs or have careers that don’t allow for such adaptability. It’s hard to imagine saying to your boss, “Sorry, I can’t perform a crucial surgery today because my child has a soccer game.”
Mom guilt is a real struggle, but I’ve learned to feel okay about not being able to attend every game. It wasn’t perfect, but it worked for us. Sure, I still grapple with guilt over my kids not eating healthily enough, spending too much time on screens, or my own impatience, but I could usually claim flexibility as a win.
Reflecting on my parenting journey, I realize I might not have been as present as I thought. While I believed I was balancing everything, I often found myself distracted by work during my kids’ games. I remember pacing behind the bleachers on a conference call, only to be reminded by cheers that I missed a great play by my son. I was there in body, but my mind was elsewhere.
No parent wants their child to look into the stands and wonder if anyone is there specifically for them. Fortunately, in most of our kids’ sports teams, the parents have formed a support network. We all cheer for each child’s successes and share in their disappointments.
Sports impart significant lessons to our kids, teaching them teamwork, resilience, and the essence of being a good sport. They learn to work together toward a common goal and that mistakes are part of the journey—valuable lessons that extend beyond childhood. I appreciate the role sports play in our lives, even if they take up most of our weekends.
As parents, we have an array of responsibilities. We must teach our children to be kind and safe while ensuring their well-being. I hope my kids know we’re always there for them, even when I’m the “bad guy” enforcing bedtime or limiting screen time. However, the job description for parenting doesn’t stipulate that attending every single sporting event is mandatory.
I once came across a piece of advice that suggested the best thing to say to your child after a game, regardless of the outcome, is simply, “I love to watch you play.” It’s not our role to critique their performance; we leave that to the coaches. I now tell my children this often because it holds true: I genuinely enjoy watching them play, even if I can’t guarantee my presence at every game.
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In summary, while attending every game may not be feasible, what matters is the love and support we provide our children, both on and off the field.