It’s 5 p.m., and I’m fully immersed in survival mode. The kids are glued to Moana, and I’m tossing snacks their way like I’m feeding zoo animals. Surprisingly, ten minutes into the movie, it seems like they might actually watch the entire thing without fighting or creating a mess. Progress, right?
I shuffle to the kitchen to pop some popcorn—my dinner for the evening—without a shred of guilt about it. When I return to the couch with my snack, I check my phone to see if my partner has checked in yet. Wait, it’s only 5:06?
I let out a sigh. How is it still not bedtime? Why am I already feeling so drained? Where is their dad?
I glance over at my kids, happily munching on cheese puffs, while I survey the battlefield of toys littering the floor and the cracker crumbs that are now part of the carpet. In that chaotic moment, it strikes me: I’m completely worn out, yet I have nothing tangible to show for my day.
What did I even accomplish? The living room was presentable just 20 minutes ago, and now it resembles a disaster zone. The kids were fresh this morning, but now they smell like a cheesy pet store. I stocked the fridge on Monday, but we’re down to the last few yogurt cups, and I’m mentally preparing a grocery list that’s long enough to warrant a trip tomorrow. Oh wait! I can’t forget about the baby’s doctor appointment at 9 a.m. Bath time is no longer a question; I can’t have Child Protective Services knocking on my door over a stinky baby.
Now I’m on my hands and knees, cleaning up the Ritz Cracker explosion from the floor, contemplating if hiring a personal assistant might alleviate my struggles. But what would that job ad even say?
Help Wanted: I’m not sure what I do all day, but I’m utterly exhausted!
Yeah, that wouldn’t get any applicants.
When my partner finally gets home, we jump into Team Bedtime Mode. An hour later, both kids are tucked in with fresh diapers, and we collapse onto the couch for a moment of rest.
“How was your day?” I ask.
“Good,” he replies, flipping through channels while I ponder how to answer. That’s when I spot a dirty diaper perched on the TV stand. Oh, gross.
I leap up to toss it in the trash and suddenly remember, “Did I add diapers to the grocery list?” And that’s when it hits me: this is the crux of my exhaustion.
Every bit of work I do seems to be undone almost instantly. I clean a room, and it’s messy again. I change a diaper, and an hour later, it’s foul again. I fill the pantry, and soon it’s as if a swarm of locusts has raided our kitchen. I feel like I’m running on a hamster wheel, and that’s just the visible chaos.
What’s most draining, though, is the invisible weight of managing our household. My mind is a whirlwind of grocery lists, doctor appointments, work schedules, and family plans. Making a sandwich involves not just preparing food but also realizing we need more peanut butter, that the bread is nearing its expiration, and ensuring I use the milk before it goes bad.
The mental load of maintaining a home is overwhelming, and it’s only part of what parenting entails. That’s why many of us find ourselves at the end of the day, staring at a sea of snacks and forgotten diapers, wondering, “Why am I so tired?”
The answer is simple: we’re extremely busy. We’re engaged in the real work of running a household and raising kids. Sometimes it manifests as washing a high chair or switching laundry, and other times it’s entirely invisible—like the grocery list that exists in our minds or the pediatrician’s appointment reminders we keep tucked away.
You may not have physical proof of all your hard work, but that doesn’t diminish its reality. You’ve put in the effort, even if the toys are once again strewn across the floor.
For those exploring the journey of parenthood, check out our post on this couple’s fertility journey that provides valuable insights. And if you’re in need of a sweet treat, consider these baked earl grey donuts with blueberry glaze, which are a delightful indulgence. For more information on pregnancy and home insemination, you can find great resources at the Genetics and IVF Institute.
In summary, while it may feel like your efforts often go unnoticed, the reality is that the work of parenting and running a household is a significant and tiring endeavor that deserves recognition.